Movie (raajneeti) review

Raajneeti

One of the dare-do movie, Raajneeti is one of its league. Undoubtedly entertaining, the wonderful music creates another dimension (at least according to my personal judgement). Least bothered about Political Dramas as such, I watched the movie more for its celebrity value and positive reviews; than any other desire. Katrina Kaif is both glamorous and beautiful, and, rises well up to viewers’ expectations.

I personally liked Nazeerudin Shaah and Ajay Devgan, too! And Ranbir Kapoor, though, childish, does total justice to the character. Lovely performances, at specific times, by everyone involved!
It’s not useless to mention that since every other politics-involving movie touch every Indian chord: There ARE indeed, some repetitious and simply violent scenes. Lest the vicious circle that politics is, gets slightly jarred, the producers have taken sever measures to ensure full masaala, that gets backed by equally intense sultry-substantial-scenes
Naana Paatekar rises upto his role The-Best-Of-All! Enraged and dedicated, shrewd yet just, emotional jolly Perfect – sooner or later he simply being to jump out as the pivotal soul.
Liza Batra... I like it!

Review- The Evening

The Evening

I won’t say I liked this movie. I enjoyed it: YES. There is a spicy quality interspersed with painful minutes. The protagonist is seen as a character too-good-to-be-true: She is is good, if the viewer limits his/her thinking to her biological dispositions. Beyond that, my views aren’t exactly in sync with the general opinion: Being a good singer is her natural inclination, being a good friend: Her requirement for companionship. She seems to misinterpret the importance of root values, or should I say, “Roots’ value?”

Perfumed and sexy, gullible yet strong, her charisma is enigmatic; wholesome and breezy, her persona magnetic. But how far can a bird fly... It would need to migrate, or at least, have a nest! I don’t intend to find solace via metaphors, the story lends heroic charm, but gracefully confuses mind’s eye:-
1. The lady raises two daughters, but, is it usable that while one is spoilt brat, the other super-doting for her mother: Implying that protagonist did bring them up nicely, but, vain that she was, couldn’t love uncompromisingly.
2. The hero, most basic in his demeanour, nicely evades any responsibility that goes beyond his immediate requirements. Though this judgement would be apparent to any reasonably observing eye, the protagonist and her so-called-best friend seem to be ignorant of anything trustworthy that could have been simply built into fine relation(s).
3. It’s beautiful, undoubtedly; but leaves unanswered queries in mind; to the point that a viewer could find it difficult to even HAVE any opinion.

It’s kinda messy, but perhaps that’s thoroughly just-my-opinion!? I generally tell people very frank thoughts about movies; however, ‘The Evening’ did total atyaachaar on any thoughts I could have had; and didn’t satisfy me at all.

Does Terrorism lead to Racial Discrimination or Racial Discrimination leads to Terrorism?

Place: Newyork city
Date: 30th September, 2001
Time: 2 pm

Scene 1

(Aabid Khan, 45, is sitting in a rocking chair, a lost look in eyes. Nazim, sixteen, enters from door at left.)

“Maybe I SHOULD be a terrorist… maybe we are SUPPOSED to be that?!” (Nazim throws his bag on the floor with frustration.)

“Don’t join the league of others, son. You can have a better future.” (Aabid replies without looking at Nazim.)

“But, I want friends, belongingness, not alienation!”

“You yourself will begin to feel like an alien, son. You won’t recognize yourself. There are no friends there.”

“I don’t care!! Even Priya and John have turned their backs on me! I didn’t know that being a Muslim meant being a terrorist; or being known as one!”

“It DOES NOT mean that!!!”

Silence

(Aabid throws the newspaper on floor and glares at the young boy. Nazim picks up the newspaper, and reads aloud)

The government has decided to strictly detain and interrogate people of Muslim community from entering the country. ”We don’t want more attacks”, the government says.

“What about Iqbal Chachu, Ammi, and Sani Kaki now?! They were to join us here after a wait of three long years in India!”

“Their visas got cancelled.”

“After being approved once?!”

“Yeah”

“HELL”. (Nazim walks out)

Scene 2

(Nizam is half lying on a bed. Phone rings.)

“So, what have you decided?” (A hoarse voice on the other end asks)

Silence

“Are you going to act timid like your father and stay cocooned? We have had enough, child. It’s time to fight for our rights and recognition. Don’t be so irresponsible.”

Silence (Phone receiver still on ear, Nizam closes his eyes.)

“I heard that some of our dear family members were not allowed to come here. We had waited so long to be together. You think it’s justified?”

“No, its not. IT’S NOT!!!” (Nizam sits up, beads of perspiration on his head)

“Well, so…”

“IT’S NOT JUSTIFIED THAT ABBA GOT FIRED FROM HIS JOB FOR NO REASON! IT’S NOT JUSTIFIED THAT WE ARE GIVEN STARES EVERYWHERE WE GO!! IT’S NOT JUSTIFIED THAT SHOPKEEPERS AND TAXI DRIVERS AVOID US LIKE PLAGUE!!! IT’S NOT NOT NOT JUSTIFIED!! IT’S NOT!”

“My child, then don’t bear with it. Come, we’ll make our voices get heard, no matter how.”

“I need to think.” (Hangs up the phone and dials another number) “Hello. Aadaab aunty. This is Nazim, Sabbir’s friend. Can I talk to Sabbir?”

“Beta, there was some feud in our street today and a guy bet him up badly. He is in hospital.”

(Nizam quietly puts the pone back, gets down from the bed, and comes to the centre stage. Writes something on the paper kept on table. Goes to right stage and takes out a suitcase from the cupboard. Exits right stage)

(Aabid enters from left. Comes centre stage. Picks the paper from table and reads aloud.)

“There is no other option, Abba. I must take to my destiny.”

(Aabid falls on the floor. Curtains)

Society's Attitude!

Society’s Attitude towards the Disabled

A lot is being said about the disabled today. In fact, it is no longer justified to call the disabled, ‘disabled’. It is better to address them as ‘people with disabilities’. I am myself a disabled person, but feel that changing the terminology isn’t really as essential as changing the attitudes of people towards the disabled. Of course, the former does help in achieving the latter, but doesn’t necessarily guarantee it.

As far as the society’s attitude towards disabled is concerned, at a personal level I’ve been vey fortunate. I’ve hardly come across any behaviours or reactions of people that have a lot to do with my disability. Once I tell them about my disability, to the extent that is necessary, they are okay with it and the conversation goes on. Of course, I do meet people who are a bit too curious or sympathetic, but it is not in any way irritating. In fact, it makes me smile to think that my disability is being discussed as easily some political issue. But, this is at a very ‘interpersonal’ level.

If I talk keeping a larger picture in mind, I can’t deny that the society still views the disabled as people who ‘obviously are less happy and need help’. We are yet to see the time when the disabled will be allowed to define ‘happiness’ in their own words, when they will have sufficient opportunities and will be respected as much as (neither less nor more) the so-called ‘able’.

There are people who start suggesting various treatments the moment they meet a disabled person. They’ll go on and on about the multitude benefits of a particular medicine, or a miracle they had witnessed when a person in wheelchair got up and started walking. It shows that the immediate assumption when a disabled person is seen is that he/she is unhappy, needs a lot of help and can do nothing other than brooding on his/her disability, that the only thing that matters in his/her life is ‘how to get rid of the disability’.

Also, funnily, people assume that the disabled can’t think on their own. E.g. there are many people, who, when they meet me, ask my parents, “Which standard does she read in?” Noticing that I am disabled, they automatically assume that I can’t even think on my own, and, instead of talking directly to me, bombard my parents with questions about myself.

Society is yet to feel comfortable knowing that disabled people are also a part of itself. Often, people feel utterly confused thinking how they should talk to a disabled person. Consequently, they end up doing what they want to avoid- hurting the disabled.

Things can be changed by bringing enough opportunities to the disabled, by recognizing their potential and tapping the same, by giving them exposure and educating the disabled and able about disabilities.

As a matter of fact, it is not only the society that has to be worked upon. Too much of focusing on the ‘society’s attitude towards disabled’ also compartmentalizes the disabled. They are as much a part of the society as anyone else and as normal as anyone else. So, why discuss so much about various attitudes towards them in the first place? But on second thoughts, unless we discuss it, the much required change in attitudes won’t be achieved.

Disability, whether it is mental or physical, lies in the way an individual perceives himself, not the society’s view. But ultimately, both these things are interdependent. The self-image of the disabled both depends on and determines the society’s view of disabled. Hence, the foremost thing is the self esteem of disabled…they should be allowed to feel comfortable with their disability. Give them the necessary equipment, necessary learning strategies, suitable environment…fulfill their ‘special needs’ that are actually as special as anybody else’s, and, most important, give them a normal upbringing. Once this is achieved, disabled will themselves prove their worth and earn respect in society, instead of getting pitiful and curious stares. And then, an effective change in the mindset of the disabled and the society will come into view.

Thankfully, present day scenario is quite positive. Attention is being given to making places accessible to disabled, including disabilities in education curricula, providing disabled people with environment conducive to their best possible growth…but, still, a lot remains to be done. e.g.

1. Why do the disabled have to wait in long queues and bear not-very-polite government officials just to obtain a certificate confirming their disability? The need for such a certificate is justified; but, are the long waiting hours and the harsh comments by officials justified? The entire process should rather, be easier for the disabled; then why is it actually so difficult?
2. Why are not, the physically disabled students allowed to take up physical education as one of their subjects in 12th standard? Don’t they have a right to develop their physiques at least as much as is possible? Do they not have a right to learn outdoor games just because they can’t play those games?
3. Why does Kurukshetra University not provide the facility of one extra hour during exams to the disabled? It provides the facility of ‘writer’ for disabled students who can’t hold a pen, but what about those disabled students who CAN write themselves but not as fast as their peers? Shouldn’t they be allowed to write for themselves?

I don’t want to end the passage on a negative note, so, I’ll again point out that the present time is indeed the best time for disabled, when a lot is being done for them, and, resources are being researched to help them in helping themselves…yet things can be made better. People with disabilities have started accepting themselves…let the society also accept its constituents.

Madhubani!!!

Madhubani

Big eyes, painted on a big face, stared hard at me. I got scared! But, my mother smiled. We were in an art gallery and looking at paintings. Then, mom told me about Madhubani (Ma-dhoo-Ba-Nee), an interesting folk art of India, a south Asian country. It means 'forest of honey'. Long time back, when it started, only lady of the house used to do it, but now children also do it.

Mom told that Madhubani artists make use of agricultural products only. Ladies treat handmade paper with cow dung and dry it. “Cow dung?!” I wrinkled my nose. Mom explained that cow dung can be used in many creative ways. From the painting, I guessed that cow dung gives the paper a yellow tinge and make it thicker.
Even the brush is handmade! It’s made from a bamboo twig wrapped with a piece of cloth. Or the ends are frayed so that the fiber looks like a bundle of hair. Bamboo sticks are harder than the general painting brushes, so, Madhubani takes more effort. For patches, a cloth is tied to a twig, dipped in dye and pressed against the surface. This is called pihua (Pee-Hoo-aa).
I picked up the exhibition brochure from the counter and read about the sources of colours.

• BLACK is obtained by mixing soot with cowdung, or burning a cloth-piece on a lamp.
• YELLOW comes from turmeric, flower pollen, or lime and the milk of Banyan tree leaves.
• BLUE, from indigo plant.
• RED, from the Kusum flower juice, red sandalwood or bricks.
• GREEN, from the apple tree leaves or Seem plant.
• WHITE, from rice powder.
• ORANGE, from Palasha flowers.
• BROWN, from Peepal tree

So, there is no ONE medium. Colours are applied flat without shading. Madhubani art is either in bright colours or black ink. As modern artists use varnish to give shine to the painting, Madhubani artists use gum from the trees.
Subjects
Traditional themes are small images of Gods & Goddesses, stories from Hindu mythology and shapes of flowers, leaves, fruits, and animals. Lotus plant, bamboo grove, birds, fish etc, are drawn separately or in union. Agricultural animal life is also depicted.

Beginnings
Sam, the attendant at the gallery, also joined us. She told that this art began as cave paintings in Madhubani district (Bihar) of India long time back. Those natural dyes were very strong. They are still found on the walls of old caves. As civilization went up, walls and floors of mud houses began to be painted. Sam said that many beliefs are linked with Madhubani. It purifies the atmosphere. And, when the worshipped Goddess comes to the house every morning to bless family members, the beautiful walls make her happy.

Walls are also painted for celebrating festivals, birthdays and marriage ceremonies. Madhubani, also known as Mithila (Mee-Thee-Laa), is done in three ways – Bhitti Chitra (Bhee-tee Chee-tra) is wall painting, Aripana is floor painting, and Pata-Chitra is canvas painting. Chitra means ‘picture’.

Special Featrures
Aashima, my pen-friend from India, wrote to me that Madhubani is done in double outline. The gap between the lines is filled by cross or straight tiny lines. That must be time consuming! Also, there are hardly any empty spaces; pictures are fully detailed.

In Madhubani art, the methods used are simple, but it takes patience and hard-work. After knowing all this, when I looked at the big eyes on big face again, I didn’t get scared. I decided to make a Madhubani painting myself. So, I bought sketch pens, pencil and drawing sheets. Using the pencil I drew a peacock on paper. Then I gave it a double outline with a black ink pen gifted to me by grandpa. After adding details like feathers, eyes etc, I carefully filled in green, red, yellow and blue colours. It looked very neat and just like an original Madhubani painting!

Psychology - Untapped in india

Psychology – Still Untapped in India

Before I began studying psychology, I was myself apprehensive about its need, application and scope, especially in India. Nevertheless, once you are into this subject you don’t need statistics to be convinced of its value; the course content itself convinces you. Following is the scene of this subject in our motherland:

1. Despite the fact that original Indian thought is psychology oriented, in the sense that it includes many stress-reducing and relaxing activities, what is taught in our education institutions is western psychology. Thus, it becomes inapplicable in its immediate environment that is different socially, economically, politically, and intellectually.
2. Availing the services of a psychologist is still stigmatized and out-of-normal course of events.

Here, I quote the example of a friend ABC, whose mother was visibly in need of psychological help for years. Yet, it was only when her behaviour went out-of-control that her family members decided to seek professional help. By that time, her symptoms had become full blown, thus rendering all psychological strategies relatively useless. She now required the services of a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist. The same case throws light on another problem that our country faces in this regard – lack of well-trained psychologists. My friend couldn’t find a psychologist who would be economically within her family’s reach, experienced, and efficient.

3. Ideally, there should be one psychologist per 25000 people, out of which 1000 can be assumed to be in need of psychological services. Compared to the number of individuals who need help, the number of psychologists is far from sufficient. Let’s take the example of Yamunanagar, an upcoming district in Haryana. Here, for a population of 4 lakhs, there are just 2 psychologists. Even they are bound to the organizations they work for and not available to general public. Projecting the same figure on a national level, it can be said that India has approximately 3500 psychologists. Going by our nation’s population, there should be 44000 psychologists. So, the required number is thirteen times more than what we have!!
4. At present around 65 educational institutions in India offer degrees in Psychology. Out of the limited students (that are mostly girls) doing these courses, at least ten to fifteen percent either don’t go professional or change their stream. So, while the population of our motherland is increasing by leaps, presenting newer problems, the number of psychologists to cater to them is far from sufficient.
5. Unfortunately, most of the professionals are segregated in metros. Seeking their services is difficult for people far from these places. And, until the people in need are treated efficiently, the effectiveness and value of Psychology won’t get recognized.
6. Reasons why Indians are increasingly in need of psychological help:
a. The extremes and variations in our society make it difficult to adopt and stick to one life-style. There is persistent dissatisfaction.
b. Superficial westernization is leading to identity crisis and role confusion. e.g. youngsters are in a rush to start earning even before they finish their studies, which is not out of place but out of tune
c. Increasing need of independence and rejection of one’s own roots. e.g. women in double income families delay motherhood, but go through a tough time later due to health problems, lack of experienced elders’ guidance and moral support so crucial to pregnant ladies.
d. Growing competition at each level. e.g. increase in the no. of suicides among students, due to poor scores; farmers for the inability to repay loans; and many more. Instead of setting our own standards we are led by external criteria like the glitz and glamour of media.
e. Ego hassles, unit families, increasing divorce rates
f. Job- hopping, materialism leading to more frequent family quarrels.

7. The difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist is still not well understood by a layman. Thus, patients expect such advice and guidance from their psychiatrist that only a psychologist is qualified to provide. While a psychiatrist is a doctor and treats mental problems through medicines, psychologists figure out thinking and behavioral patterns and try helping people by bringing about change in thought processes. One can’t do the same job as the other.

Having presented these facts and figures, I’d like to emphasize that the full potential of the knowledge in realm of psychology is not sufficiently tapped in India. It offers great benefits, provided the need and application gets recognition, be it any field from sports to agriculture, electricity to education or aviation to management.

Time traveller's Wife

MY views on Time-Traveller’s-Wife
It’s ONE hell of a sexy movie!
I enjoyed it since the concept of time has ALWAYS intrigued me ~ In the concerned movie~ protagonist is wed not to a stable husband: ‘within the time line’: that is~ He is prone to disappearing sometime after every Booze: He is a ‘TIME TRAVELLER! [{Whatever that means?!}]
Heroine meets him when as a thirteen year old, drives him crazy; as driven to similar state by him: they finely get tied with each other to enter a stressful life (since someone’s love keeps disappearing (AND reappearing) at all unpredictable times! The marriage takes a whirlwind, and, begins to crumble. Worst, lead lady has a miscarriage: They give it another shot, but, in vain.
The FLICK has a marshmallow qualification {as in it seems to be soft, smooth and serene, too! Sprinkled with some painful situations when Hero is trapped in weird time planes {Trying to fight Man-hunters, or, meeting his would-be in a library (Their first and foremost ‘overt’ meeting)}
After much This-and-That, the couple, gets blessed with a girl who herself somehow is a Time Traveller! Though the lead actor dies in the end, the music-like nature of this movie keeps lingering. Good movie!!

The Teacher Ultimate

The Teacher, Ultimate
(By Reema Bansal)

Plap! Plap! Lying on bed, he banged his hand on the side-table twice more. Though exhausted, I got inspired and resumed dancing. I met Jeesu at his mother’s, that is, my dance teacher’s house. We immediately struck a rapport. His mother proudly informed me that age thirteen, her boy with mental retardation motivated everyone around him. I would have found out though.

I am myself inflicted with a neuropathy that entails weakening of limbs. It makes me feel fatigued, sooner than others. However, I had stubbornly decided to give a solo-dance performance on my college stage. The only person who could prepare me for this performance, was, my high school dance teacher. I approached her to tutor me. It took us sometime to figure out what steps I should learn. She decided upon selected steps from Bharatnatyam. When asked for her payment schedule, she simply said “I’ll let you know that later”.

Classes began. As I’d dance with the support of a table, Jeesu would watch carefully from his bed, passing a lopsided smile. The moment I’d give up, too tired and de-motivated to continue, he would bang the table and make haphazard arm movements. Ma’am told that he was urging me to continue.

At times, sitting beside him, his mother and I chatted and laughed together. This cheered him up without fail. “He loves being surrounded by people and always reflects their emotions”, his father told me. Indeed, the days I‘d feel upset over something, Jeesu would look at me continuously. Those big & wide-open eyes would compel me to smile. Then he would begin shaking his body, making me laugh.

Despite his condition, the little skinny boy has such humane qualities that everyone, from his mother’s friends to convent nuns, students to elders, comes to him for support. What people find difficult to convey even with all their faculties intact, Jeesu manages to express in his own unique ways. I think he takes it from his family itself. All of them almost adopted me; and it felt like home.

“I took to depression when Jeesu got diagnosed”, said his mother one day. She further added, “But slowly I realized that my child is not less beautiful than others, but differently beautiful”.

“He is an angel ma’am”, touched myself, I touched her shoulder.

On the last day, I munched on the idli-saambhar prepared by ma’am and asked about her payment, she said, “I had stopped teaching dance, as Jeesu starts crying whenever he hears dance music. He feels ignored”. I was astounded. “But, Reema, he never cried when I taught you. In fact, it made him happy. I think he found a meaning in his life.”

Tears in my eyes, I looked at my angel. He smiled, lopsided. My real performance had already been made.

Oldie By dad

NOSTALGIA OF THE INSIGNIFICANT
Sohan Lal Bansal

“Just like that” does mean something not significant. But this ‘something’ is the flavour of life. It has a lot of meaning, it is the essential of life and this is what makes significant, significant. This something does not let you down, does not cheat you and does not weigh upon you. This something is the content of our daily life or else it should be. A lot of such situations which were just like that leave their imprint on our minds- not because they meant something to us but just like that.

I vividly remember a summer afternoon some thirty years back when I was waiting for a bus in a small town near Sirhind. The quiet of a summer afternoon was speaking too well but for the Rafi song being broadcast on the transistor of a fruit vendor. In between, a crow on the tree behind me informed about its presence by its kan-kan. A mother managed to arrange water for her lap-borne child from a hand-pump nearby. And suddenly a whiff of air calmed my sweating cheeks and neck and reminded me that it was summer. As expected, the bus arrived and I started on my journey.

Way back around 1964-65 during our school days at Khanna, our recess period was obviously our lunch time. Inside the classroom, the teacher would not allow food. Outside, it was too hot in summers. So we would find the shade of trees and try to huddle together up to the line between the sun and the shade. This line would change its position and keep the border boys changing their places. Big sized eagles usually flew over the really big lawns of the AS school during this lunch hour in search of their lunch. To attract these vultures we would not mind sparing half a chapatti from our tiffin. Quite soon innovation took over us and we would tie a thread to the chapatti so that we could enjoy the flight of the vultures as if we were the flight managers. When they took the chapatti and flew away the tension on the thread was the ultimate joy. After all this it was a race up to the water taps. There formed three or four rows of students in front of the taps. It was a real sight when we drank water from the taps by making a reservoir with our hands and half of water would flow down our elbows and we would care no less.
mf
An evening around 1973 was at Patiala – in fact like any other evening at the fountain chowk down the mall. I was a medical student there. The said evening saw me standing outside a tea-stall and sipping tea and looking purposelessly on the road. Vehicles –not so many in those days- kept moving this way or that way. The fountain was splashing water in its own pre-determined stream. Nearby the Phul theatre had its quota of visitors. Opposite the road was a petrol pump. All this meant nothing because this is anyway the routine stuff of a town. But even now it means a lot to me because I was part of it – not by design but by nature’s intent.

Similar was a late evening at Jagadhri some 15 years back. Around 8.00 pm near jamna talkies when I was standing outside the Indira market, a song “ halwa wala aa gaya” from a Mithun- starrer filled the air pleasantly. The wetness of the road made it shiny at places because of reflection of light. The weather was neither very hot nor very cold. My scooter was beside me. I had gone there to see somebody who was, I found, unavailable. Then it might have pinched me but now it is just memory.

None of these incidents are either unique or special to my existence. But when I remember these, there is a nostalgic feeling. It convinces me that the real nostalgia is of the insignificant. Therein lies no purpose, no plan, no retrospective grievance, nobody to blame for anything and nothing to repent or gloat about. It is as if this alone makes my existence complete. Only if we could find some moments to relive these moments.

endit

IT'S ALL THE YOUNG CAN DO FOR THE OLD - TO SHOCK THEM AND TO KEEP THEM UPTO DATE (GEORGE BERNARD SHAW)

IT'S ALL THE YOUNG CAN DO FOR THE OLD -
TO SHOCK THEM AND TO KEEP THEM UPTO DATE
(GEORGE BERNARD SHAW)

Eternal is the generation gap. Conventionally speaking, this connotes all things negative. To a critical analyst, it also means the continuum of change which gets translated into various meanings and implications. To an optimist, it spells out being progressive for the young and old alike. To a pessimist, it is nothing more than an everlasting conflict.

The present topic is born out of the above conglomerate though it must have been recognized long before that. But is the generation gap actually as demeaning as shock or as uplifting as updation? Perhaps both. Take the negative aspect out because it is not deliberate. Inevitable, it is (though unfortunately).

The young are to live their lives just as the old did in their times. Till a particular age, they are influenced by words and actions of the old (parents in this context). Then they outgrow the shadow of their older kin and it is as it should be. Once they move out of the sacrosanct boundaries of the hearth, they naturally grow in accordance with the prevailing situations in the new environ i.e. college, university, job place and social circle. Over the years, this environ would have undergone a sea-change in terms of values, gadgets and open-ness. The ‘now’ atmosphere bears almost no semblance to the one that ‘was’. The old are tuned to the past and the young are inculcating the new philosophy. Both the groups are so well entrenched in the systems that they start finding it difficult to put up together. This incompatibility, though never absolute, becomes apparent only after many upheavals i.e. minor and major shocks for the old. Another dimension gets added to this situation when the young are confident that their stand is correct whereas the old have learnt that if a particular thing is wrong, so it is. What’s needed is an understanding that on the whole anything can be right and anything can be wrong. Over the centuries, it has come to happen that some old and young do attribute to this philosophy. But it does not in a big way curtail the intensity of the shocks, for the question of ‘crossing limits’ does come up at one or the other point of time.

Here, it is to be realized that the young are not doing anything on purpose, though they end up delivering the shocks. It also has to be accepted that the old are almost entrapped between the boundaries of thoughts. This is what makes them shed-shocked. But, they aren’t necessarily ‘outdated’ every time…a lot many notions of the old generation are always applicable in the present, too (though the young find it unpalatable to follow these).

The shocks-wile boils down to non-entities both in frequency and intensity if the young and the old are flexible, rational and amenable to suggestion. Of course this does not happen in a day or en masse. It demands a basic openness of approach and a lot of rationalism throughout the upbringing of kids and subsequent relation of the young with the old. Till then the young remain young, the old remain old and the shocks are shocks.

Now for the updation. In fact, updation is the by-word in almost all spheres of life - now and for all times to come. This is again as it should be. From cycle to motorcycle to motorcar to helicopter to airplane is one example. From hand fan to air conditioner is another. From 286 to 386 to 486 to Pentium 4 is still another. Why do we do it? Actually, we don't do it, we are made to do it. Our inherent nature to move ahead does it. Although in its wake, the updation may bring hurry, intolerance, impatience etc, the advantages far outweigh the problems. This updation needs to be seen in context of a person (one from the old generation) also. Whether a person is ready to update himself with the new knowledge frontiers, ideas, gadgets or not, is his sweet will. Remaining backward is always an option...moving with the times is always a better one. The best part is that the young inadvertently contribute to this change. Even by not doing anything, they do a lot about it. They learn the new things, follow these & make these a part of their daily life. The better lot of the old will follow this through will & way. The reluctant lot of the old will do the obvious though at the cost of stagnation. A third group of the old will learn for fear of not being caught on wrong foot or for fear of not catching their young ones’ mistakes. Except for the reluctant, it is all productive and constructive.

Whichever way, the young do do it for the old. Anyhow, shocks and updation are not necessarily all that the young can do for the old. Certainly not. The other things that happen differ with country, culture, ethnicity, education and development. Respect, service and help also are the attributes of certain tolerant societies; whereas alienation and indifference are the outcome of nuclear families and self-centeredness. Likewise there are many other things the young do for the old (not necessarily parents)-It is not widely off the mark that young do researches for the benefit of the old, that young contribute towards old-age homes and that the young are not averse to the welfare of the senior citizens.

So many words down to title, I will again emphasize that generation differences are bound to exist. Forgetting its unwelcome aspects, a lot of positive outcomes can be highlighted. What the old give to young can help trace the covered journey, while what the young give to old can help visualize the road ahead…provided enough ‘accommodation’ is made available. Ultimately, what we make of these differences remains in our hands.

WRITTEN WITH DAD'S AID
Reema Bansal
2nd year, Psychology Honours
LSRC

Pind Balluchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Pind Balluchi-apna gaanv…
Sarson da saag-makki di roti, aaloo da prantha-aam da achaar…welcome to Pind Balluchi- a ‘village’ restaurant which is neither as high-end as an Italian-special eating joint, nor as run-of-the-mill as the fast food chains. The ambience, the smell, the feel, the menu…everything seems to be straight out of the latter half of film Dilwaley Dulhania Le Jaaeyenge. Its side look from the road might disappoint you, so wait for the beckoning front view- chaukhat par kharha darbaan, imam jasta and kundi sota (equipment used to prepare masaalaas), charpoy ke bagal mein hukka, saamney kuaan, and ice creams available from a tonga. A similar mood of village is elegantly established inside with wooden tables and chairs placed below trees, hut style pillars, fast-track dhaba music and ever-courteous Punjabi mundaas as waiters. You’ll be greeted with a warm sasriyaakaal, ushered to an appropriate place and handed a menu. The menu, again, will produce a smile on your lips. It’s carved out on a wooden slate. Adding to the aesthetic set-up are the heavy bronze water tumblers.
Most of the dishes are bound to remind you of your grandmom’s preparations. Two things not-worth-missing are aam ka panna and hara kabab…do try them. There is tangri kabab and the hara-bhara kabab. While the former is a chicken leg piece roasted with white pepper and nuts, the latter is a preparation of spinach and chana dal. Mouth watering dahi kabab is made from buttermilk and chopped vegetables stuffed in bread. Pind Balluchi offers varied dishes for both vegetarians and non-vegetarians. Mushroom kurkure and roasted cabbage are the vegetarian delicacies that are bound to leave you asking for more.For the main course, there is an array of delicacies like dal tarka, paneer masala, fish amritsari and murg Balluchi. Mutton and chicken biryani, hot and spicy are also on offer.
Says the durbaan, “It’s great working at a place like this. Whenever I open the door for visitors, their expression immediately shows their happiness. Everyone seems to fall in love with the atmosphere inside. And, when they are coming out, the cheerful faces munching on saunf and gur brighten me up”.

In a city like Delhi, ‘Pind Balluchi’ takes the elderly back home … back to their childhood days in villages. It gives the young-middle age group a feel of something they have always known about, but perhaps, never experienced. And, to children, it gives a glimpse into another world.
"In the present scenario, when everybody is running after Mediterranean and French food, we came up with an Indianised version because we believe it's more permanent and not occasional like other foods. One can try this at any day and any time," says Meraj Rizvi, owner of Pind Baluchi.
Prices are not very attractive, but the quality of food served is. So, next time you feel like treating some special friends (or your parents) in a different ishtyle, go ‘rural’… go to Pind Balluchi – 8 Main Ring Road, Near State Bank Of India, Lajpatnagar-IV, New Delhi- 65. Banquet hall and advance bookings: 51325760-61.

Review~Naayak

I chanced upon the movie ‘Naayak’ on S-max recently. Though released in 2001, it makes one think even today.

Ethics, morals and values are learnt over one’s developing years, through interaction with the environment. However, these get sustained by way of rewards and punishments brought by the environment. In Indian context, contribution towards this learning is in no particular direction. Instead of focusing on a layman’s way of thinking, politicians’ casual statements get scrutinized. Sheila Dikshit’s off-the-cuff remark on Biharis gets more limelight than the very essential roti-kapda-makaan.

I wish our leaders undertake some bold and innovative steps, the way Anil Kapoor does in the movie. Once an average Indian begins to sense an undercurrent of honesty all around, corruption, even at lowest levels, will begin to fade away. Overtime, such a scenario will keep getting strengthened, thereby leading to ethics, morals and values coming from within, instead of without.

It’s understandable that such things are easier depicted in a work of fiction, but constrained in real life. However, true intentions take shape, no matter how.

Jai Hind.

Reema Bansal
Jagadhri

(Copy sent to The Tribune)

Women (?) Uh Just women!

Understanding women

It’s probably one of the toughest things for men, understanding women. Yet, it’s also one of the most important. As sons, brothers, husbands and fathers, they have multi faceted roles to play. The task can become much easier were they to know a few basic principles governing women’s emotions, and their behaviour. Here are a few facts…

For one, they are definitely not two-mouthed. Various writings propagate ideas like ‘When a woman says ‘A-B-C’, believe ‘C-B-A’’. However, this is not true. Present day women believe in saying exactly how they feel and think, and, they abide by the same. You don’t have to carry ‘dual-meaning’ dictionaries in your brain. Take every word on face value.

Secondly, show you care. Women are great care-givers, both by nature and by upbringing. However, they need the care back. It touches them as nothing else does. For most women, care defines true love. Add acceptance to that, an ideal ingredient in women’s life, and the situation is a dream-come-true.

Another thing that women live by is their values. They are deeply attached to their roots. One might think that this true even for men. However, psychologists opine that women are more bound to their backgrounds, especially in Indian culture, where tradition demands them to leave parental house after marriage. Respect this integrity.

Encourage. Women love men who have the ‘courage to encourage’. Firstly, it implies that the person is secure himself, and secondly, that they can always back up on him. Before any man gets close to a woman, be it for any relationship, encouragement has to be the keyword. However, don’t let yourself assume that they are seeking support; in all likelihood, women will reciprocate with double the encouragement, though in ways different than yours.

Women love being time efficient. Along with that, they love receiving the deserved amount of time from people close to them. By pre-disposition, women are more relationship oriented, so when they express a desire for time, try to provide that. When they demand a more efficient time management, try to practice it. Chances are high that you’ll reap sweet fruits.

21st century women have a close nurturing friend circle. This needs to be respected. A lady needs girlfriends as much as a man needs guy friends. You might find the group funny because of the variety therein, all the same, be patient and receptive. Your lady will love you for being accepting towards her friends. Afterall, you would appreciate the same from her, however crazy some of your guy friends might be.

Ladies today need a sense of control. Home or office, work or recreation, they need to have sense of predictability. Don’t misinterpret this. The whim, if it maybe so considered, can pretty well be humoured. It usually results in the advantage of the rest. Moreover, hidden beneath the sense of control is a deep layer of care.
Aesthetics play an important role in a female’s life. Be it considering herself, or the world around her, she needs to feel pleasant about it. Be ready to spend on this, both energy and money. It helps the people around in two ways; firstly, the lady is happy, and secondly, environment uplifts everybody’s mood, indeed.

The fairer sex is sensitively strong, implying that it’ll get scared of a cockroach, but, won’t tremble if a calamity sets in. It’s just the way it is. Know it, learn it, and remember it. Females are born empowered, and in their heart of hearts, they know it better than anyone else. Usually, the fact is not exploited, and it’s better not, for the benefit of both the sexes. To make complex things simple, keep it simple.

Communication is something very valuable to women’s heart. Most of them live by it. Let them. Communication solves half the world’s problems, so let them talk. Today, they are not as much of chatter boxes as they used to be. They realize how important it is to talk, so, talk. Share with your sister, listen to your mother; talk to your love, walk with your grandmom… you’ll become a better person.

All said and done, a female is a ‘janani’, a birth giver. She gives birth, loves, cares, breeds, grooms and cares. So, should be her atmosphere – congenial to her nurturance. While understanding her is not an easy task, if once accomplished, reaps great advantages. She has her strengths and weaknesses, her perfections and imperfections… wholesome acceptance of these by men can bring them back, double the amount of love and affection.

Story of Leon Klinghoffer

Malady Today

Exactly 21 years ago today, on the afternoon of October 8, 1985, Leon Klinghoffer - a wheelchair bound 69-year old, was cruelly murdered for the dual crimes of being a Jew and an American. He, and his wife Marilyn Klinghoffer, were celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary by taking a cruise aboard the Achille Lauro, sailing from Alexandria to Port Said in Egypt. Following a plot masterminded by Abu Abbas, four Palestinian militants hijacked the ship, and shot Leon Klinghoffer in forehead and chest while he was sitting in his wheelchair. The ship's barber and a waiter were forced to throw the lifeless body and wheelchair overboard. The body was found by some Syrians on October 14-15, and returned to the United States around October 20. Leon Klinghoffer was buried at Beth David Memorial Park in Kenilworth, New Jersey.

The crime makes any reader sit-up and dwell on what human race is headed for. It was made into a television movie in 1990, Voyage of Terror – The Achille Lauro Affair. John Coolidge’s second opera, The Death of Klinghoffer, with a libretto by Alice Goodman, raised controversy in 1991. A television movie based on this opera, directed by Penny Woolcock in 2003, was winner of the Prix Italia, an Italian broadcasting award.

However, 21 years since the event, we aren’t any better. In fact, the situation has worsened. Everyday we hear of similar well-planned and coolly executed heinous crimes borne out of religious rivalry or one up-man-ship. As is apparent, religion has been reduced to achieving supremacy in terms of number of followers, physical power¸ and power to decimate other sects. The religious intolerance leads to conversions, riots, discrimination, and takes its final toll in the form of deadly crimes. Elevating religion to its original status is thus, an immediate necessity, for ultimately it is we who need the religion, and not the religion that needs us.

Even for those of us who aren’t directly affected by the present religious rut, and would rather focus on bigger concerns in our immediate lives, it’s essential to ponder over the trend of ritualism that has gone beyond redemption. According to one religion, it is wrong to eat non-vegetarian food on Tuesday; another says it is wrong on Thursday. One set of people find it inauspicious to wash clothes on Friday; some other set finds it wrong on some other day. Such paraphernalia is further strengthening religious demarcations. And the boundaries of religion, if they don’t serve any other purpose than what is observable today, are nothing more than trouble-rousers.

Humans were, and are, being created by the same One, the same Supreme. Then, why at all is there a need for different sects? Humanity alone should be enough. So, perhaps all the religious heads should get together, and declare that each religion is respectable, and that conversion to one religion is an insult to the rest? Impossible. Perhaps a new movement called ‘Humanity Re-invented’ is the need of the hour? Under this, religion will be given a five year holiday, identities of various sects omitted, and humans will live as humans only; the colour, the beard, the hair-cut and the dress won’t identify a person’s religion. That might work. But, there could be an easier way, too – if we understand that none of the existing religions is wrong or incomplete; if we understand that the baseless dimensions given to religion mar its actual meaning and thereby lead to suffering in various forms; if we understand that unless a bell rings within us, there is no point ringing thousand bells in a temple; if we understand that unless we wake up from our deep materialistic slumber, there is no point staying awake for the ‘Jagratas’; and, if we not only understand, but also adopt the saying ‘Live and Let Live’.

“Mazhab nahin sikhaata, aapas mein bair karna…”

Hence, let us not oblige religion. Religion obliging us would be more beneficial. Let us not just stop at feeling bad for Leon Klinghoffer who might have been 90 today, but resolve to contribute our bit by being secular in heart and soul, if not as revolutionaries.

Safar (Review)

Safar

There is something uniquely melodious about this movie. It touches a chord within you, makes you weep: Makes you laugh. I loved the movie (with constraint). Sharmila Tagore’s character somehow enriches every viewer’s life. I myslf can’t help, but, feel that at some level I want to be her, and at another level; complete No-No! Rajesh Khanna, an artist, keeps audience tied to their seats. Not with any magic formula (apart from the ‘Rajesh Khanna’ charm ofcourse’), but, by sheer transparency of his persona, and accurate perception of feelings.

The songs, ofcourse, tap every foot. That I (personal disclosure) might NOT enjoy this flick would be only because, the heroine’s journey (safar) is too demanding, and, not special when it comes to the end. (I must mention here – It’s admirable, but... the injustice jumps out at you ). However, the injustice, too, seems justified in its own way (shrug).

Lest the reader wants a professional review, the entire genre of these Rajesh Khanna, Sharmila, Amitabh etc movies have a satisfying and comfortable pace. Identifiable and thankfully, relaxing. Anand being another of its league, and Chupke chupke another.

Coming back too ‘Safar’, at a certain plane, it reflects the themes of Umrao Jaan (Disagreements welcome ;). The lead lady, in both, is sincere, committed and accepting. The circumstances, in both, are against the healthy growth of heroine (Sharmila’s brother is irresponsible, if not outwardly cheap); Umrao Jaan is brought up on a Kotha. Undoubtedly this is one of my most biased and self-tinged reviews...

That the two heroines lament (too) much about destiny is something a 21st century woman might not find comfort in.
Great movie!

NETIQUETTE

Netiquette

What is Netiquette? Simply stated, it's ‘network etiquette’. “Etiquette" means "a prescribed or accepted code of behaviour in matters of ceremony”. These are the forms required by good breeding. Similarly, netiquette is the convention on electronic forums (Usenet, mailing lists, live chat, and Internet forus) - a set of rules for behaving properly online. It facilitates efficient interaction.

When you enter any new culture, you're liable to commit social blunders. You might offend people without meaning to. Or you might misunderstand what others say. Also it’s easy to forget that you're interacting with real people - not just characters on a screen, but live human characters.


So, partly as a result of forgetting that people online are real, and partly because they don't know the conventions, well-meaning cybernauts, especially new ones, make all kinds of mistakes. So, follow a few basic rules, and you're less likely to make the mistakes that will prevent you from making friends.

Remember the human
Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you. The old adage holds a lot of truth here. Imagine how you'd feel if you were in the other person's shoes, and talk accordingly. Stand up for yourself, but never hurt people's feelings.
When you communicate electronically, you don't have the opportunity to use facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice to communicate your meaning. And that goes for your correspondent as well. So be very careful with words. Use your network connections to express yourself freely, explore strange new worlds, and boldly go where you've never gone before. But remember the Prime Directive of Netiquette: Those are real people out there.

Writer and Macintosh evangelist Guy Kawasaki proposes a useful test for anything you're about to post or mail: Ask yourself, "Would I say this to the person's face?" If the answer is no, rewrite and reread; edit till you feel satisfied.

Adhere to the same standards of behaviour online as in real life

In real life, most people are fairly law-abiding, either by disposition or because we're afraid of getting caught. In cyberspace, the chances of getting caught seem slim. Some people think that a lower standard of ethics or personal behaviour is acceptable in cyberspace. However, standards of behavior may be different in some areas of cyberspace, but they are not lower than in real life.
Be ethical. If you encounter an ethical dilemma in cyberspace, consult the code you follow in real life. Chances are good you'll find the answer.
Some laws are obscure or complicated enough that it's hard to know how to follow them. And in some cases, we're still establishing how the law applies to cyberspace. All the same, Netiquette mandates that you do your best to act within the laws of society and cyberspace.

Know where you are in cyberspace

What's perfectly acceptable in one area may be dreadfully rude in another. For example, in most TV discussion groups, ‘passing on idle gossip’ is perfectly permissible. But throwing around unsubstantiated rumors in a journalists' mailing list will make you very unpopular there.

And because Netiquette is different in different places, it's important to know where you are. Thus, lurk before you leap.
When you enter a domain of cyberspace that's new to you, take a look around. Spend a while listening to the chat or reading the archives. Get a sense of how the people who are already there act. Then go ahead and participate.
Respect other people's time and bandwidth

It's a cliché that people today seem to have less time than ever before, even though (or perhaps because) we sleep less and have more labor-saving devices than our grandparents did. When you send email or post to a discussion group, you're taking up other people's time (or hoping to). It's your responsibility to ensure that the time they spend reading your posting isn't wasted.

Bandwidth is the information-carrying capacity of the wires and channels that connect everyone in cyberspace. There's a limit to the amount of data that any piece of wiring can carry at any given moment. When you accidentally post the same note to the same newsgroup five times, you are wasting both time (of the people who check all five copies of the posting) and bandwidth (by sending repetitive information over the wires and requiring it to be stored somewhere).

We sometimes find ourselves copying people in the ‘send to’ column almost out of habit. However, ask yourself whether they really need to know all that you are sending. If the answer is no, don't waste their time. If the answer is maybe, think twice before you hit the send key.

Make yourself look good online

Networks -- particularly discussion groups -- let you reach out to people you'd otherwise never meet. And none of them can see you. You won't be judged by the color of your skin, eyes, or hair, your weight, your age, or your clothing, but, by the quality of your writing. For most people who choose to communicate online, this is an advantage; if they didn't enjoy using the written word, they wouldn't be there. So spelling and grammar do count. Also, be pleasant and polite. Don't use offensive language.

If you're spending a lot of time on the net and you're shaky in these areas, it's worth brushing up on them. Look for courses on proofreading and copyediting; they usually cover the basic rules of grammar pretty thoroughly, and they'll be filled with motivated students who are there because they want to be.
Pay attention to the content of your writing. Be sure you know what you're talking about -- when you see yourself writing "it's my understanding that" or "I believe it's the case," ask yourself whether you really want to post this note before checking your facts.

Share expert knowledge

The strength of cyberspace is in its numbers. The reason asking questions online works is that a lot of knowledgeable people are reading the questions. And if even a few of them offer intelligent answers, the sum total of world knowledge increases. The Internet itself was founded and grew because scientists wanted to share information. Gradually, the rest of us got in on the act.

If you're an expert yourself, there's even more you can do. Many people freely post all kinds of resource lists and bibliographies, from lists of online legal resources to lists of popular UNIX books. If you're a leading participant in a discussion group that lacks a FAQ, consider writing one. If you've researched a topic that you think would be of interest to others, write it up and post it.
Sharing your knowledge is fun. It's a long-time net tradition. And it makes the world a better place.

Help keep flame wars under control

"Flaming" is what people do when they express a strongly held opinion without holding back any emotion. Does Netiquette forbid flaming? Not at all. Flaming is a long-standing network tradition (and Netiquette never messes with tradition). Flames can be lots of fun, both to write and to read. And the recipients of flames sometimes deserve the heat.

But Netiquette does forbid the perpetuation of flame wars -- series of angry letters, most of them from two or three people, directed towards each other, that can dominate the tone and destroy the camaraderie of a discussion group.
Respect other people's privacy

You'd never dream of going through your colleagues' desk drawers. Similarly, you wouldn't read their email either. Failing to respect other people's privacy is not just bad Netiquette. It could also cost you your relations/job.

Respecting each other’s personal space is essential. Even while conversing, try not to ask personal questions till you feel appropriate. Checking profiles is alright, so is hovering over a known friend’s Orkut account, as these are services offered by Net space itself and people have willingly divulged information about themselves, but, beyond that, it’s not acceptable. It’s also bad netiquette to pick up people from your friend’s cc lists.

Don't abuse your power

Some people in cyberspace have more power than others. There are wizards in MUDs (multi-user dungeons), experts in every office, and system administrators in every system.
Knowing more than others, or having more power than they do, does not give you the right to take advantage of them. Use your knowledge advantageously, both for yourself and others.

Be forgiving of other people's mistakes

Everyone was a network newbie once. So when someone makes a mistake -- whether it's a spelling error or a spelling flame, a stupid question or an unnecessarily long answer -- be kind about it. If it's a minor error, you may not need to say anything. Even if you feel strongly about it, think twice before reacting. Having good manners yourself doesn't give you license to correct everyone else.
If you do decide to inform someone of a mistake, point it out politely and, preferably by private email rather than in public. Give people the benefit of the doubt; assume they just don't know any better. And never be arrogant or self-righteous about it.

Just as it's a law of nature that spelling flames always contain spelling errors, notes pointing out Netiquette violations are often examples of poor Netiquette.
All said and done, Internet is a wonderful place – be it for striking friendships, sharing opinions, sharing knowledge or playing games together. Remember the above mentioned and abide by them; chances are you’ll find some long lasting friendships.

Love and it's Myriad forms

All About Love
By Reema Bansal

‘Love’. The four lettered word holds a special place in every heart. It conjures up images of red roses, blushing cheeks, perfumed letters, gifts, and sunset points. Though we smile at the mention of these images, few of us are aware of the chemistry, physiology, biology, and most important - actuality behind love.

Saya N, a 22 year old, “Whichever boy I see, I find James in him.” James compliments N for being a loving and caring girl. They have been together for four years now, but, the charm of love hasn’t faded.

Moumee, 25, feels that her boyfriend Ritesh is very reliable. Ritesh (looking at Moumee) says, “I find her very sweet and cute”. They look like a perfect match.

Both the examples quoted above are love stories, yet they are different. What they have in common is trust, liking, romance and attraction. What varies is the outward appearance. Also, romantic love is very different from sibling love, friendly love, or parental love. Let us have a look at love, myriad forms of love, and other related aspects.

Physiology

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." said Sophocles, the ancient Greek playwright (dramatist). It’s true. Being in love is a happiness inducing state. It happens through the neurotransmitters in our brain. Studies have shown that being with our loved one produces chemicals in our brain that make us feel happy; not only that, these chemicals also induce relaxation.
For some, love, at least in the beginning, can produce thrilling moments. There from originate statements like ‘going mad in love’, ‘can’t see anything else’ etc. Once again, this can be attributed to physiological changes in our brains. As felt personally by Nikki Giovanni, the Grammy-nominated American poet, activist and author, "We love because it's the only true adventure."

Psychology
The mere knowledge, that somebody loves us as much as we love him/her, gives high satisfaction. While this makes for a common reason, there are case specific reasons also. It has been observed that when people pair up, somewhere their psychological needs are being fulfilled. For example, a girl might be enjoying the care that her boyfriend doles upon her, while the boy might be enjoying the feeling of being needed by the girl.

"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." put Howard Thurman, author, philosopher, educator and civil rights leader. In simpler words, love is ‘unjudging’ in nature - The partners give each other unquestioned acceptance. This is because their own well-being becomes entwined with the other person and they don’t want to forego it.
Hence, we see how love overpowers us, both psychologically and physiologically. So, what is it that makes romantic love different from other forms of love? Psychologically speaking, each form of love has different feelings as its ingredients.

Sternberg, a renowned psychologist, conceptualized love relationships as encompassing three basic components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• Consummate love, i.e. ideal form of love, consists of all three ingredients.
• Romantic love consists of intimacy and passion; lovers are emotionally and physically attracted to each other, but, without commitment.
• Next is liking, i.e. intimacy alone. These are true friendships without passion or long-term commitment.
• Compassionate love comprises of intimacy and commitment.
• Infatuation is passion.
• Fatuous love is all about being passionate and committed.
• Empty love is commitment alone, a decision to love another without intimacy or passion. This is what we sometimes observe in arranged marriages, in the initial few days.

Out of all, consummate love is the most difficult to attain. Also, it’s the most secure form of love. Its other ingredients are trust, selflessness and care. Unfortunately, youngsters are rarely seen in consummate love, most of them are either infatuated or just being romantic. This is where the role of elders comes in – as long as they keep all channels of communication open with their children, chances are higher that the children will find consummate love. Usually this near-perfection form of love occurs when all other forms have been crossed at different stages; and once it occurs, it’s a great feeling. Chirag, a 28 year old architect from Delhi shares, “I and Nisha dated for seven years before committing to each other. It was fulfilling – the way our feelings grew over time.” Chirag and Nisha are getting married next year.

Feel Complete
"We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh" – anonymous. Be happy, and laugh, and THEN, let yourself get in love. A content and complete person is truer in love than the one who finds content through love. Love isn’t a way of completing oneself; rather, it enriches a complete life. Furthermore, believing in yourself and enjoying life are the best ways of letting love enter your life. Maturity of thought and spontaneity of actions are additional advantages.

Be Prepared
Ups and downs are a part of life. Clashes with the loved one produce great misery. Be prepared for these. Greater are the struggles that a love relationship sees, greater is the bonding. After all it’s the same relation that will give joy, as well. As said by anonymous, "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." Dinesh and Arti, an NRI couple, feel that the very fact that their love survived all the odds makes them dedicated to each other. “We could have never attained the level of understanding we have today, unless we had fought so much in the initial days”, smiles Arti. It doesn’t mean you fight intentionally, it means that you accept the situation when a fight occurs and try to resolve it in the best possible way.

Be Hopeful
Never lose heart. "For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it", said Ivan Panin, who achieved fame for claiming that the text of the Bible contained numeric patterns. Each person has someone made for him/her, the trick is to let love find you and not go searching for love. Meaning to say that the more of yourself you are at each given moment, higher are the chances of finding true love. The more you go looking for it, the more you reduce, chances of finding it. However, if nothing works, just do things that you enjoy, e.g. joining a painting class, or swimming. Someone will automatically come into picture.
Finally, there are no do’s and don’ts in love. In the words of Iris Murdoch, Dublin-born writer and philosopher, “ We can learn to love only by loving." Learn to enjoy, well-within boundaries, and let the colours of love beautify your life. That is its true nature.

"To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson - American essayist, philosopher, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement. In nutshell, let love love, nothing more, nothing less; and you’ll succeed in love. After all, as is well know, to have loved and lost in love is bad, but, to never have loved is even worse.

Letter-Writing

LETTERS – ARCHAIC ALREADY?

Every day we sort through our mail of credit card offers, pamphlets, invitations and bills; somewhere hoping to find a letter, but in vain. The era of letter writing has vanished altogether. Earlier, letters were the primary way of communication. But today, we never receive an envelope addressed personally; leave alone a handwritten letter inside. With much speedier and easier options at hand, it’s not an exaggeration to call letters archaic. ‘In an age like ours, which is not given to letter-writing, we forget what an important part it used to play in people's lives.’ said Anatole Broyard, the American literary critic. What is a letter? Most simply, it’s a written message from one person to another.

‘To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.’ said Phyllis Theroux, the California based essayist, columnist, teacher and author. Handwritten letters have a charm and warmth of their own that can’t be compared to emails/fax/telephone or any other means of communication. The mere fact that a person has taken so much care as to write a personalized letter can cheer up the receiver. Further, it's easy to get confused when trying to express verbally how you feel. Sitting down and writing a letter in private, however, gives you time to get in touch with your deepest feelings and then decide which words will best express them; hence, Phyllis Theroux’s quote.

Other than love letters, the most famous of all, Rakhi letters also hold great significance. It’s a joy both for the sister, who writes a letter, and the brother, who receives the letter. The single handwritten note adds credence to the entire occasion. ‘What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.’ Liz Carpenter, the famous writer, feminist, former reporter, and media advisor’s quote highlights another aspect of letters – they stay with us forever.

Studies have shown that the act of letter writing produces feelings of companionship.
For those divorced, widowed, or never-married… ‘Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company’ emphasizes Lord Byron, the renowned romantic poet. An icing on the cake, recipient can respond at leisure. Some find letter-writing too consuming; however, it isn’t necessarily so. A letter-pad, pen, envelopes and stamps on table; letters can be made as convenient as fax/email, if not more.

Along with the stationary, certain do’s and don’ts are also a must-know for all letter writers. First and foremost, the reader must be made aware of the date and place from where the letter is being written. Address the reader by name, e.g. Dear Parul; this ensures that the letter is in intended hands. Further, handwriting should be legible. You don’t want to scare your reader.

Let us come to the world’s most famous letters. According to Henry Tilney, noted, well mannered and intelligent priest ‘The talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female.’ However, history doesn’t confirm it. Perhaps what Tilney meant was that these letters have feminine touch to them. Some of the well known letters are

Abigail Adams to John Adams - Dec 23, 1782
Sullivan Ballou - July 14, 1861 (Civil War)
Harriet Beecher Stowe - January 1, 1847
Ludwig von Beethoven - July 6, 1806
Pietro Bembo - October 18, 1503

The most important thing to know about love letters is that the best love letters come from the heart. You might not be able to write a poetic love letter but write a love letter that will be cherished forever.

A letter is the need of a loved one (either a romantic interest, or a brother, or a sister or an old friend) to communicate with you, hence, the great extent to which it is cherished. Love letters, to be specific, are not only effective among new couples, but can also be used to rekindle the romance in an old relationship. The knowledge and proof of the fact that somebody cares so much for us as to take a pen and paper, write a letter and post it in our name, gives great pleasure. I suggest we try giving this pleasure to someone. In all probability, it’ll bring us similar pleasure.

Art Healz

LET ART HEAL

Anjali, a reputed NGO manager and a vivacious socialite, was experiencing high levels of stress. Taking advice from her husband, she sought the services of a counsellor. However, the sessions weren’t helping her much; till she began talking about her love for painting.

“I enjoyed painting, but I wasn’t good at it. Nobody understood what I drew, so I gave it up. Why waste time and money?” she told the counsellor. Educating her about the healing capacities inherent in art, the counsellor helped her resume painting. Within one week, Anjali’s fresh lease of life returned.

Art. The word conjures up images of colourful paintings, sculptures, and dancing figures. Despite the appeal, most of us let go of these images, telling ourselves that the field is only for the talented, or that we are too busy. However, the definition of ‘Art’ has nothing to do with being good at it or being regular. It’s just about being spontaneous. “My emotions are sometimes so strong that I work without knowing it. The strokes come like speech”, said Vincent van Gogh, the well known Dutch painter.

Biological Foundation

The act of making art triggers internal activity that contributes to physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. It leads to production of feel good chemicals in our brain, thus contributing to mental health. Continuous practice of the same helps strengthen our immune system. Simply going to an art museum or looking through art books can also refresh the spirit and promote relaxation.

Research shows that physiological functions, such as heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration slow when people are deeply involved in a creative activity. Hence, the soothing effect. It also provides an opportunity to exercise eyes and hands, improve eye-hand coordination, and stimulate neurological pathways from the brain to the hands.

Psychological Foundation

As said by Magdalena Abakanowicz, a contemporary polish sculptor, “Art does not solve problems but makes us aware of their existence. It opens our eyes to see and our brain to imagine.” Pent-up emotions operate outside our conscious awareness; hence, the best way of releasing them is art. By way of artistic symbols, it’s easier to let oneself go, and open up freely.

Sigmund Freud, Father of Psychology, propounded the concept of unconscious. It’s the part of our mind that stores childhood memories. While most of these are pleasant, negative experiences also form a part of the unconscious. Unless these are expressed appropriately, they begin to hamper our mental well being. One way of releasing them is displacement- venting on undeserving people e.g. scolding kids. Another is sublimation- converting them to socially appreciable pursuits e.g. art. Choice is ours.
Each of us is naturally endowed with at least one artistic capacity. Recognition and pursuit of the same can enrich our lives.

Rhythm is beneficial Our muscles, including the heart muscle, synchronize to the beat of music. For example, some classical music approximates the rhythm of the resting heart (70 beats per minute). This music can slow a heart that is beating too fast.

It can be as simple as someone listening to a CD. Specially selected music can be broadcasted into hospital rooms. A chit-chat revolving around the lyrics of a song can be relaxing. Dance the most fundamental of the arts, involves direct expression through the body. Thus, it is an intimate and powerful medium for self-expression.

Play with words Poetry therapy and bibliotherapy are terms used synonymously to describe the intentional use of poetry and other forms of literature for healing and personal growth. Expressing through the use of words, putting each of them in place, and reading them aloud can be an energizing experience.

Daydream colourfully. To most of us, dreams occur naturally. However, intentional dreaming has additional benefits. Imagery involves mental exercises designed to stimulate the mind and influence the health and well-being of the body. It uses visualization techniques to help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as manage pain, lower blood pressure, and ease some of the side effects of chemotherapy.

There are many different imagery techniques. One popular method is called palming, which involves placing the palms of our hands over our eyes and first imagining a colour we associate with anxiety or stress (such as red), then imagining a colour we associate with relaxation or calmness (such as blue). Visualizing a calming colour leads to relaxation.

Another common imagery technique is known as guided imagery. It involves visualizing a specific image or goal to be achieved and then imagining ourselves achieving that goal. Athletes often use this technique to improve their performance.

Act it out. Drama therapy is an active approach that helps one tell his or her story to solve a problem, achieve a catharsis, extend the depth and breadth of inner experience, understand the meaning of images, and strengthen the ability to observe personal roles while increasing flexibility between roles.

To pick an example from Bollywood, as Akshay Kumar and Amitabh Bachchan exchanged roles of father and son in the movie ‘Waqt’, many pent up thoughts got revealed, eventually leading to strengthening of their bond.

Finally

W.H. Auden, the renowned poet, said, “In the desert of the heart, let the healing fountain start.” We can easily back on our inner sources to give us strength. So, let’s become our own counsellors by taking to art. Coming to the quality of work, no doubt, a superior work has better chances of lifting the person's mood and self-esteem. But, it doesn’t mean that a normal work of art has no benefits. It’s the act of creating that is important, not the final product. After all, what Anjali needed was simply an encouragement to take up painting again. To quote Henry Moore, a British sculptor’s words, “There's no retirement for an artist, it's your way of living so there's no end to it. So gurlz, just pick up that brush, or switch on your music system, and let yourself go…!

Side Bar
Art Therapy – A New Field

Over one hundred years ago, a number of European writers described the spontaneous art done by patients in mental hospitals. This seemingly irrepressible urge to make art out of any available materials confirms the compelling power of artistic expression to reveal inner experience. It was because art making provided a means of expression for those who were often uncommunicative that art therapy came to be developed as one of the helping professions.

Margaret Naumburg is considered its founder. An educator and psychotherapist who started the Walden School in New York City, Naumburg wrote several books on art therapy and its applications with psychiatric patients in the 1940s and 1950s. Her sister Florence Cane modified principles from art education for use with children. At the same time, some conscientious artists were volunteers in mental hospitals. They eventually convinced psychiatrists of the contributions art therapy could make to the treatment of the most difficult patients. Art Therapy can be an individual activity but is often used very successfully in group situations. Child psychologists often use art therapy because children have a hard time putting feelings into words.

At some point in our lives, we might find ourselves overwhelmed by the intensity of our emotions which are difficult to face either by themselves or with others. Art therapy offers an opportunity to explore these intense or painful thoughts and feelings in a supportive environment. It involves using a wide variety of art materials, for example paints, clay and batik, to create a visual representation of thought and feelings.

Gone with the Wind Review

Gone with the Wind
I read this novel only because it’s a classical. A friend who lent me the book had told me upon my repeated failure(s) to read it, “It’s a classical. Too slow for you, I presume”. True, (I) never could finish the book. But visual media can create hitherto unknown interest(s). I LOVED the movie!
Though slow and stretched, long and repetitive in an identifiable way, Gone With the Wind does justice to its viewers. The protagonist (I forget her name  ) is so courageous, notwithstanding her strict upbringing. From being flirtatious to being submissive, every shade of her personality lends interest. It’s perhaps stubbornness that pulls her down. (Must mention ‘Attitude’ here as well: ignorin my own ;) ). Personally I could only empathize with Ashley, and, nothing like admiration developed. His wife, my favourite character is simple, sweet and gentle from every angle; and proves to be a gem throughout the movie. I couldn’t help but feel a sister-in-law like relationship between her and the lead lady. Much to latter’s agony, I am sure;)
Though a six hour watch, once you get the theme and rhythm in the movie, you are hooked. No calling commitments a pre-condition!
I was touched by the relation she shared with her father, and her decision to earn bread for family. I was impressed with the hero’s (If I might call him so?!) persona, and the transparency of (his) thoughts. The locales and atmosphere, given the technology available at that time, is quite good. Women’s dresses HAD to catch my eye for the lack of similar stuff in modern day.
Particular impressions were left on me by the scene where she pulls down the curtains in front of family maid, and gets herself a green dress stitched. This brings forth her determination, but, on the flip side, somehow, led to a series of events highly unfavourable. It was heart warming when she is proposed by the only suitable suitor she has ever had. Despite this, there’s gloom inside her person – understandably so considering the struggles faced by self. Minutely though, the flick also highlights differences unchangeable in people, differences that make existence fun, differences that are omnipotent. It’s encouraging, yet multi-faced. Builds interest, but realism neutralizes the scope of enjoyment.
These thoughts, however, are completely mine; someone else would think completely differently. Cheers! :)

Vichar...

Plagiarized: No matter who brings you down, and makes your day bad, there’s always the people in your life who make your life feel like heaven

And then there was this tale...

Gurgaon, ’04 – April ‘08
Engineering Institue

They were Jake and Radha. They were lovers, best friends and the best of couples. However, circumstances took toll. Despite being in love, they had to drift apart.
“I am never going to leave you”, Jake would enact dramatizing their love.
“My misfortune”, Radha would hit her forehead.

Commitment was the word friends associated with them, and luck is what their parents mentioned. As is often, however, they were oblivious to opinions and destiny. They knew people loved them, and dwelled knowing their romance was blessed, too!

However, as if often the bitter truth of dreams, life knitted another story. One of them left for Canada, making a promise to keep in touch. Radha stayed back; willing to join her father’s business.

Two months flew by notwithstanding the authenticity of their relationship.
“Hi Radha!!!” Read the SMS Jake sent her on 26th of October. It was a Sunday, and she had just dusted her room. Surprised, she texted back that she must postpone talking and/or chatting. She had a ticket booked to make it in time for a friend’s wedding; and needed to hurry. Minutely aware of each other’s habits, there wasn’t any need of explanation or ego satisfaction. “Catch thou later!” her cell beeped. She smiled to herself.

Jake was enjoying the party thrown by Aman, one of the few Indians in his university. Beer was followed by tuna. Music was followed by scrabble. On the other end, Radha had decked up herself, and packing the wedding gift.
Bangalore, 1st November ‘08.

Rita boarded the plane, flushed with excitement and thrilled to be in it. Humblest roots had shown her the value of money. She was supposed to finish her Masters very soon, and return every penny of her parents’ money. Though it was challenging, she knew that determination was success’ keyword. Every second spent in the plane felt like a dream come true. Every passenger looked like an angel.
New York was freezing; wrapping a shawl around herself she called a cab. Few more minutes, and she’d be in her room. Hostel dormitories felt secluded, so she had checked Internet for nearest available lodging, and booked her room from home itself. Now, her new home in NY called!

“Take care, Beta”, her mobile phone had her dad’s voice message. Feeling blessed, she texted her thanks. As the cab turned at avenue 34, lush green trees beckoned. Her heart thumped inside her chest.

They might have never met, were it not initiated by Radha herself. Unknowingly of course! “You must, Jake, you must! Go!” She had urged him. Jake had always been into photography; his clicks showed remarkable potential. An Indian studying in a New York University had offered to pay for shooting scenes in sync with her summer project. He had almost rejected it, eager to take a break and hug his beloved back home. However, his love back home urged him to postpone the break till winter. Feeling torn, yet, deeply touched he adjusted the lens of his camera. “Oh, Radha: I miss you!!!!” Her email would read the next morning. She had to dash, however -- A business meeting was calling.

New York, 1st March ‘09
Jake turned at avenue 34. World’s busiest city wasn’t so bad after all. Bless you, Radha, he smiled to himself. Wed, working, and measly, the first impression he had of his employer for next two months was totally a miss. This twenty something damsel was both courteous and charming. Pleased, he shook hands with Rita. Life rocked.

Vivacious and artistic, Rita seemed to carry another world around her. A world full of fun and frolic! The more Jake got to know Rita, the more upbeat he felt. On the professional front, his photography had already bought favour with other students in the class, and he had both his hands full. His first earnings, coupled with the cups of coffee with Rita washed any doubts he had about cancelling the trip to home-country. However, Aman and Radha’s mails kept him in loop. Latter were few and far in between, though. The rapport built with Rita led him into sharing much with her – Radha included. Her smiling acceptance of everything about him warmed his heart. Good friends are, after all, a rare catch, he’d tell himself. That it could lead him into irreversible events was beyond his wildest imagination. He just happened to wake up early that morning.

Avenue 34, 17th April
Screams pierced his ear drums. Leaves were still moist with dew, and birds’ chirp rang in the air. Seeing Rita weeping maniacally in lawn was the most shocking scene of his life. Colour drained from his face. Sobbing, she hugged him tight. Baffled and confused, he scanned the lawn. No-one was there. Jake was about to stop himself from shaking her when Radha called. Disconnecting his cell, he gently held Rita away from himself and gazed into her kaajal smeared eyes. Deep sorrow confronted him. “Dad passed away last night”, she managed, resting head on his shoulders.
He looked around the room. Strange that he hadn’t visited it all these days, for it was as colourful as Rita. She lay beside him, at total peace. Curtains fluttered over the window. Pulling himself out of the sheets, he returned to his den. He had to return Radha’s call. Thankfully, she was too far to catch any falter in his voice.

She was surrounded by colleagues and immediate professor, but, managed to glimpse at Jake’s direction every other minute. Everyone had gathered to offer their condolence, but it was also to keep their favourite person busy till she made it to India. Amidst the crowd, Rita’s heart and mind were at war. Already grieved to the core, she didn’t know whether to ask Jake to come with her, or wipe the morning from her mind. Worse, the most effective comforter was already ignoring her.

Delhi, 24th June ‘09
It wasn’t easy for her. Radha had always feared aeroplanes. Non-stop 24 hours flight was a nightmare-in-wait. It was a worthwhile purpose though. Her Mr. Right wasn’t well. Firstly, he had disconnected all her calls. Secondly, his parents had spoke of huge amount being withdrawn from his account. “It’s so unlike him”, Radha played with her hair flicks while waiting in the lounge. Perspiration and palpitation began as she boarded plane. By the time she made it to her seat, her limbs had gone numb. Were it not for the gentleman sitting in the adjacent seat who offered her lemon, she would have fainted. “God-sent angel” she thought to herself before sleep overtook her fear.

Two hours thirty five minutes. A pleasant voice woke her up. ‘Vegetarian, Ma’am?’
With much effort, she managed to stay calm for the rest of flight. Her “God sent angel”, it seemed, had changed his seat. Over the mike, pilot’s message that they were about to land was music to Radha’s ears. Mere thought of Jake made her heart pump with love.

New York, as expected, was chilled to the core. University being shut, she carefully read the address slip in her hands. Jake had included it one of his rare emails. It was some avenue leading to a suite nearby. Rita’s neighbour, though much irritated upon being waken up, updated her on events. Disappointment writ large on her face, she checked into the nearest motel.

Somehow a taxi was arranged next morning so she could reach Canada. Aman was her last hope. Thankfully, there was a co-passenger to share the surmounting bill. As the drive began, she peeked out. It was one of the most beautiful neighbourhoods, she had ever seen. As if reading her mind, the co-passenger in front seat spoke up, “It’s beautiful!” Nodding, as she turned towards him, recognition hit. “God sent angel!” her heart screamed. Much to her frustration though, he wasn’t showing any signs of recognition, not overtly at least. Talkative by every angle, Nitesh kept her entertained much of the time. Reaching her destination, she bid him farewell, suddenly feeling empty. Aman’s warm welcome proved to be necessity instead of advantage.

Not that she had expected him to know details, but Aman’s absolute ignorance was a shock. Jake had been unreported for more than two months! Panic, worse than pre-flight, gripped her.
New Delhi, 29th June ‘09

As Jake alighted from the plane, fresh breeze hit his face. Feeling elated upon landing in motherland, he swore to confess to Radha the minute he saw her. Radha, however, was nowhere to be seen. Staring expectantly at every face in the aisle, Jake felt as if his conscience was being snipped. Hadn’t she checked email? Hadn’t she spoken to his parents? Had she already heard on some unknown grapevine? Grappling with these questions, Jake greeted his parents. Too exhausted to inquire immediately, he retired for bed once home. Pigeons woke him up. For a second, he couldn’t place himself. It was the jasmine fragrance that brought home his sensibilities. Overwhelmed, he descended two steps at a time, and reached for the landline. Much to his surprise, his father’s words “Ok, Radha beta”, reached his ears. As he later learnt of her expedition, tears welled up in his eyes.
A week later; when they faced each other at airport, any intention of disclosure that Jake had, disappeared. Radha was thrust into his arms by those around, and her smile was enough to wipe away his guilt.

It was two months later that they tied nuptial knot and moved to Canada.
Philadelphia, 2020
“Baby, be careful; don’t run!” Radha was calling after Sunny, her son. Jake was relaxing on a swing some feet away. They were holidaying for a week, mostly just enjoying the food and/or strolling in the nearby areas. That he had bump into Rita, was completely unexpected. However, he quickly hid himself. Eleven years back, she had given him the gift of love, and requested that he may carry on with his life. To do the least he could, he had financed her trip back home. Howcome she really never called and/or emailed, was beyond his understanding. “She must have great inner strength”, he’d talk to himself.

Today, she was checking into the hotel that he had decided upon for the next week. Bombarded with memories, and suddenly shook by his conscience, he dared to approach her. Radha, after all, was still in the garden. “How are you..., Rita?” She looked the same, including the effervescence so natural to her. “Jake”, indeed, there was a quiver in her voice. Before she could regain her thought process, his cell began to ring. “Come out soon, Jake! Your family is famished!” He was going to their room to get some chips and juice. Gauging the discomfort, Rita hurriedly began to hit her mobile keys. Feeling thankful, Jake slipped off.

“He is cute” Rita was smilingly looking at Sunny.

Radha had struck friendship with her, more for Sunny’s sake than anything else, for he had hit off with Rita’s girl since their first meeting in the lounge. It was their last day in the city, though the five of them had already developed a good bond. Unwilling to let go of the merriment involved, Radha asked about her husband and contact information.

“The latter I’ll just give, but the former” she cast a quick glance towards Jake -- too quick to be noticed, and finished her sentence “left me for himself”. Before Radha could deservedly inquire more, she got up and began fiddling with her cell. Very timely, Radha heard, “Come sweetheart, everything is loaded: We better move!” Picking Sunny up, she quickly waived a bye to Rita, and sent her daughter flying kisses. Dshhhhhh, their car moved over the pebbles... out the hotel...leaving behind a little trail of smoke.

Dooooooooooooooo~Khi

Ek adhura sapna...
Naamumkin nahin.
Paane ki usey magar ab...
Himmat nahin.
Jaahan chah waahan raah...
Suna to hai.
Chahne ki magar ab...
Kashish nahin.
Raahein khud hi bula lein...
To chal bhi parein:
Waahan pahunchke...
Bas wahin rahein.

Mirage

MIRAGE

The same flick of hair. The same cleft chin. It reminded her of college days. He looked the same.

With a sigh, she picked up the tray and splurged burnt sienna on it. A trifle too dark, she mixed white. Still dark, she played with lemon yellow. “Just the right shade for Nakul’s skin”, Ritu thought to herself and put the brush to the canvas.

Nakul found it difficult to sit still, but obliged. Afterall, it was his own wish that Ritu paint him. Post one hour of hard work, they took a break. Nakul baked omelettes while Ritu relaxed on the sofa. “Unfair, unfair”, Purty the parrot spoke from behind. Not that it understood the meaning; it was the only word it could speak.

“Will your parrot shut down, Nakul?”
“Sowwy! It’s addicted to truth.”
“Damn you!”

They had just stopped laughing when Pooja appeared at the gate. Dressed in a white casual top and blue jeans, she looked attractive. Ritu couldn’t help, but, compare their figures, and feel like a loser herself. All the same, she greeted her warmly. Nakul’s excitement didn’t escape her. Worse, Nakul made no secret of it and offered Ritu’s omelette to Pooja. Gracefully, Pooja refused and walked towards the canvas.

“Amazing work!” An art student herself, Pooja couldn’t help, but, feel excited at Nakul’s upcoming portrait.
“I am loving it myself” grinned Nakul.
However, Ritu was fuming inside.

She realized it was time to leave, before anything untoward happened from her side. (She was losing her control and clenching her wrists). Hence, picking up her bag and promising to come back the next day to complete the painting, Ritu hurriedly took leave – all to Nakul and Pooja’s bewilderment.

“Dear diary” she wrote that night…

“Everything was so beautiful. I was spending such a lovely time with Nakul, and I was about to tell him how much he resembled his grandfather… when she dropped in. I wish you were here Rakesh, to see our grandson, to see how much he resembles you…”

Innocent Response

My dad happens to be an ophthalmologist. Obviously, his day-to-day activities include frequent vision tests on the patients. Since the patients belong to different educational strata, he is in the habit of asking them which language they know so that the corresponding side of the vision-testing drum could be set in front of them.

On one such occasion, a 30-year old lady informed that she knew the English alphabet. My father asked her to read the drum with her right eye. To my father’s surprise and amusement, the lady stood up and started uttering ‘A for apple, B for boy, C for cat…….’

Last Leg of Journey

Last Leg of a Journey

“We had a lovely time, except that Vijay drove the car so harshly while returning that kids and I held our breath”, Arti told her mother about the weekend holiday she had recently taken with her family. She further added, “Twice, we had a narrow escape from head-on collision with another vehicle, or you’d be visiting us in hospital.” Her mother trembled at the thought of it!

Unfortunately, this rush has become apparent in every task humans undertake today. The best example is our attitude on road. Even if careful for maximum part of the travel, we usually become restless as the destination approaches, hence inviting mishaps at the eleventh hour. This can snatch away the fruits of one’s labour in any sphere of life, more so in case of journey because like an ‘accident prone area’, it becomes an ‘accident prone period’.

Following are the reasons:
• It is very tempting to reach home soon when you are about to, especially after a long journey.
• By this time, the driver’s reflexes have become poorer and monotony has taken its toll.
• Home is nearly visible in the mind’s eye and one is coaxed into believing that ‘It has come’.
• Usually, highways are better maintained than city roads. So, once inside city, the situation changes from average to worse and same speed does not augur well.

All these factors together influence the safety threshold adversely. The situation is worse if it’s a professional driver in the seat; he is more impatient as his home and kids are further away.
MF

Journey – Bansal 2
Journey is an integral and frequent part of our lives, whether for an interview, entrance test, marriage, birthday, anniversary or tourism. We are sufficiently aware of general safety rules on road, but when it comes to the last leg of a journey, some special steps are required:

• Take a break of at least five minutes before the last half an hour of journey. This brings back the safety index of first leg of journey, and the monotony gets countered.
• During this, take a quick snack or a cup of coffee. A glass of water will serve the same purpose. If required, utilize this time to make a phone call to the place of your arrival.
• Change the driver. If this isn’t possible, the driver must come out of the vehicle and stretch himself three-four times before continuing to drive.
• Other people in the vehicle should do nothing to distract the driver. Keep the conversation light. Music should be kept on/off as per driver’s convenience.
• For obvious reasons, the person sitting beside the driver should avoid dozing off. In fact, this applies to the whole of journey.
• The driver should NEVER be asked how long it’ll take to reach home. It makes him/her feel as if s/he is being expected to make it fast. Speed and hurry, of course, is a total taboo.

All these measures are meant to break the monotony, energize you and prepare better for arrival. In the bargain, your safety is assured. Initially a burden, it doesn’t take long for these steps to become habit, if regularly practiced whenever travelling. On the face, they might appear as exaggeration of ‘calamity-prevention’, but, the implications of ignoring them can be serious, as we often hear of now and then.
After all, prevention is better than cure!