Psycho... Lo ji

One

“It’s unfair! This can ruin our future!” howled P. She is a psychology student, like myself, and was upset over the ‘horrible’ portrayal of psychiatrist in ‘Lagey Raho Munnabhai’. No, am not exaggerating. She sincerely felt that it was wicked to have audience think negatively about a psychiatrist.

“Go for it, girl” my dad had smiled. The killer smile, as always, had evaporated my doubts and left me with no other option but to go for it. ‘It’ refers to ‘The Realm of Psychology’. So, here I am, pursuing an honours degree from an honoured university.

This 600-word piece that I am churning out here is a warning in disguise. However, I’ll take the liberty of quoting two more incidents before elaborating upon the warning.

# Two

“Why are you always smiling and grinning, R?” my teacher confrontingly (does the word exist?) asks me one fine morning, her expression exuding niceness, warmth, compassion and concern. And, her eyes blinking.

“Oh…um… I jut happen to be a smiling person, ma’am…” I answer. (hiding the ice cream soda behind my back)

Raised eyebrow. Dismissal.

# Three

“How about you, R? How are you feeling today? Give a detailed account of your mental health.” another teacher (her hair a perpetual texture of electrocuted noodles) pounces upon my peaceful existence.

“I am doing fine, ma’am”, I answer with a smile.

Frown. Eyes wide open. Rejection.

Think before you take up psychology, I warn you… And once you have thought enough about it, congratulate yourself, for you’ll definitely take it up. There is no resisting. Grin.

You’ll be taught each and everything about human mind. Sounds interesting? Yup, but the ‘interest’ runs a risk of changing into ‘doubt’… doubts about everyone around being ‘abnormal’. Paranoia!

You’ll be taught theories of child development… a major one being Freud’s Oedipus Complex and Penis Envy. You may be able to pardon Freud’s follies, but you won’t enjoy innocent teasers with your dad anymore!!

You’ll be taught the importance of peace of mind. Great! But your honest ‘I am doing fine’ reply will fetch you an invitation to in-depth-analytic-sessions of the movie ‘Everybody says I am fine’. You’ll never be fine again!

# Four

H, after attending a lecture on ‘self-actualization and emotions’, asks me, “How do you manage your anger?”

Aware of H’s prevailing thoughts, but unable to mould my answer accordingly, I answer truthfully, “I hardly ever get angry”.

H whispers to L “She’s a born diplomat”. I find solace from the messages in my mobile… Santa-Banta, the eternal healers.

# Five

I administer TAT (Thematic Apperception Test) on M, a friend. The test entails writing stories based on given pictures. An avid reader, M produces interesting write-ups. All the stories revolve around education and family life, except the one that draws from a supernatural event in Harry Potter’s latest novel.

“This girl is highly superstitious. She is trying to ward off her death, and is definitely making use of black magic in her life. I must talk to her before it’s too late.” declares my teacher after reading the stories.

I’ve known M for five years. ‘Black magic’ are two words she knows how to spell, nothing more. So, I nod for the teacher, roll my eyes when she isn’t looking, and treat M to a cheese pizza for being a co-operative friend.


“Keep yourself and your knowledge of psychology apart, R. Or the unaffected grins will change into deprecating smiles. Normalcy is more of a perception than truth”, says dad, giving me an all-knowing, side-eyed and spectacled look, head buried in books.

I grin. And follow it up with a hug for him.

Think about it, lest it gets to your thinking. ‘It’ refers to ‘The Realm of Psychology’.