All About Love
By Reema Bansal
‘Love’. The four lettered word holds a special place in every heart. It conjures up images of red roses, blushing cheeks, perfumed letters, gifts, and sunset points. Though we smile at the mention of these images, few of us are aware of the chemistry, physiology, biology, and most important - actuality behind love.
Saya N, a 22 year old, “Whichever boy I see, I find James in him.” James compliments N for being a loving and caring girl. They have been together for four years now, but, the charm of love hasn’t faded.
Moumee, 25, feels that her boyfriend Ritesh is very reliable. Ritesh (looking at Moumee) says, “I find her very sweet and cute”. They look like a perfect match.
Both the examples quoted above are love stories, yet they are different. What they have in common is trust, liking, romance and attraction. What varies is the outward appearance. Also, romantic love is very different from sibling love, friendly love, or parental love. Let us have a look at love, myriad forms of love, and other related aspects.
Physiology
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." said Sophocles, the ancient Greek playwright (dramatist). It’s true. Being in love is a happiness inducing state. It happens through the neurotransmitters in our brain. Studies have shown that being with our loved one produces chemicals in our brain that make us feel happy; not only that, these chemicals also induce relaxation.
For some, love, at least in the beginning, can produce thrilling moments. There from originate statements like ‘going mad in love’, ‘can’t see anything else’ etc. Once again, this can be attributed to physiological changes in our brains. As felt personally by Nikki Giovanni, the Grammy-nominated American poet, activist and author, "We love because it's the only true adventure."
Psychology
The mere knowledge, that somebody loves us as much as we love him/her, gives high satisfaction. While this makes for a common reason, there are case specific reasons also. It has been observed that when people pair up, somewhere their psychological needs are being fulfilled. For example, a girl might be enjoying the care that her boyfriend doles upon her, while the boy might be enjoying the feeling of being needed by the girl.
"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." put Howard Thurman, author, philosopher, educator and civil rights leader. In simpler words, love is ‘unjudging’ in nature - The partners give each other unquestioned acceptance. This is because their own well-being becomes entwined with the other person and they don’t want to forego it.
Hence, we see how love overpowers us, both psychologically and physiologically. So, what is it that makes romantic love different from other forms of love? Psychologically speaking, each form of love has different feelings as its ingredients.
Sternberg, a renowned psychologist, conceptualized love relationships as encompassing three basic components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
• Consummate love, i.e. ideal form of love, consists of all three ingredients.
• Romantic love consists of intimacy and passion; lovers are emotionally and physically attracted to each other, but, without commitment.
• Next is liking, i.e. intimacy alone. These are true friendships without passion or long-term commitment.
• Compassionate love comprises of intimacy and commitment.
• Infatuation is passion.
• Fatuous love is all about being passionate and committed.
• Empty love is commitment alone, a decision to love another without intimacy or passion. This is what we sometimes observe in arranged marriages, in the initial few days.
Out of all, consummate love is the most difficult to attain. Also, it’s the most secure form of love. Its other ingredients are trust, selflessness and care. Unfortunately, youngsters are rarely seen in consummate love, most of them are either infatuated or just being romantic. This is where the role of elders comes in – as long as they keep all channels of communication open with their children, chances are higher that the children will find consummate love. Usually this near-perfection form of love occurs when all other forms have been crossed at different stages; and once it occurs, it’s a great feeling. Chirag, a 28 year old architect from Delhi shares, “I and Nisha dated for seven years before committing to each other. It was fulfilling – the way our feelings grew over time.” Chirag and Nisha are getting married next year.
Feel Complete
"We cannot really love anybody without whom we never laugh" – anonymous. Be happy, and laugh, and THEN, let yourself get in love. A content and complete person is truer in love than the one who finds content through love. Love isn’t a way of completing oneself; rather, it enriches a complete life. Furthermore, believing in yourself and enjoying life are the best ways of letting love enter your life. Maturity of thought and spontaneity of actions are additional advantages.
Be Prepared
Ups and downs are a part of life. Clashes with the loved one produce great misery. Be prepared for these. Greater are the struggles that a love relationship sees, greater is the bonding. After all it’s the same relation that will give joy, as well. As said by anonymous, "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." Dinesh and Arti, an NRI couple, feel that the very fact that their love survived all the odds makes them dedicated to each other. “We could have never attained the level of understanding we have today, unless we had fought so much in the initial days”, smiles Arti. It doesn’t mean you fight intentionally, it means that you accept the situation when a fight occurs and try to resolve it in the best possible way.
Be Hopeful
Never lose heart. "For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it", said Ivan Panin, who achieved fame for claiming that the text of the Bible contained numeric patterns. Each person has someone made for him/her, the trick is to let love find you and not go searching for love. Meaning to say that the more of yourself you are at each given moment, higher are the chances of finding true love. The more you go looking for it, the more you reduce, chances of finding it. However, if nothing works, just do things that you enjoy, e.g. joining a painting class, or swimming. Someone will automatically come into picture.
Finally, there are no do’s and don’ts in love. In the words of Iris Murdoch, Dublin-born writer and philosopher, “ We can learn to love only by loving." Learn to enjoy, well-within boundaries, and let the colours of love beautify your life. That is its true nature.
"To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson - American essayist, philosopher, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement. In nutshell, let love love, nothing more, nothing less; and you’ll succeed in love. After all, as is well know, to have loved and lost in love is bad, but, to never have loved is even worse.
Moments...
Boat
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Letter-Writing
LETTERS – ARCHAIC ALREADY?
Every day we sort through our mail of credit card offers, pamphlets, invitations and bills; somewhere hoping to find a letter, but in vain. The era of letter writing has vanished altogether. Earlier, letters were the primary way of communication. But today, we never receive an envelope addressed personally; leave alone a handwritten letter inside. With much speedier and easier options at hand, it’s not an exaggeration to call letters archaic. ‘In an age like ours, which is not given to letter-writing, we forget what an important part it used to play in people's lives.’ said Anatole Broyard, the American literary critic. What is a letter? Most simply, it’s a written message from one person to another.
‘To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.’ said Phyllis Theroux, the California based essayist, columnist, teacher and author. Handwritten letters have a charm and warmth of their own that can’t be compared to emails/fax/telephone or any other means of communication. The mere fact that a person has taken so much care as to write a personalized letter can cheer up the receiver. Further, it's easy to get confused when trying to express verbally how you feel. Sitting down and writing a letter in private, however, gives you time to get in touch with your deepest feelings and then decide which words will best express them; hence, Phyllis Theroux’s quote.
Other than love letters, the most famous of all, Rakhi letters also hold great significance. It’s a joy both for the sister, who writes a letter, and the brother, who receives the letter. The single handwritten note adds credence to the entire occasion. ‘What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.’ Liz Carpenter, the famous writer, feminist, former reporter, and media advisor’s quote highlights another aspect of letters – they stay with us forever.
Studies have shown that the act of letter writing produces feelings of companionship.
For those divorced, widowed, or never-married… ‘Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company’ emphasizes Lord Byron, the renowned romantic poet. An icing on the cake, recipient can respond at leisure. Some find letter-writing too consuming; however, it isn’t necessarily so. A letter-pad, pen, envelopes and stamps on table; letters can be made as convenient as fax/email, if not more.
Along with the stationary, certain do’s and don’ts are also a must-know for all letter writers. First and foremost, the reader must be made aware of the date and place from where the letter is being written. Address the reader by name, e.g. Dear Parul; this ensures that the letter is in intended hands. Further, handwriting should be legible. You don’t want to scare your reader.
Let us come to the world’s most famous letters. According to Henry Tilney, noted, well mannered and intelligent priest ‘The talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female.’ However, history doesn’t confirm it. Perhaps what Tilney meant was that these letters have feminine touch to them. Some of the well known letters are
Abigail Adams to John Adams - Dec 23, 1782
Sullivan Ballou - July 14, 1861 (Civil War)
Harriet Beecher Stowe - January 1, 1847
Ludwig von Beethoven - July 6, 1806
Pietro Bembo - October 18, 1503
The most important thing to know about love letters is that the best love letters come from the heart. You might not be able to write a poetic love letter but write a love letter that will be cherished forever.
A letter is the need of a loved one (either a romantic interest, or a brother, or a sister or an old friend) to communicate with you, hence, the great extent to which it is cherished. Love letters, to be specific, are not only effective among new couples, but can also be used to rekindle the romance in an old relationship. The knowledge and proof of the fact that somebody cares so much for us as to take a pen and paper, write a letter and post it in our name, gives great pleasure. I suggest we try giving this pleasure to someone. In all probability, it’ll bring us similar pleasure.
Every day we sort through our mail of credit card offers, pamphlets, invitations and bills; somewhere hoping to find a letter, but in vain. The era of letter writing has vanished altogether. Earlier, letters were the primary way of communication. But today, we never receive an envelope addressed personally; leave alone a handwritten letter inside. With much speedier and easier options at hand, it’s not an exaggeration to call letters archaic. ‘In an age like ours, which is not given to letter-writing, we forget what an important part it used to play in people's lives.’ said Anatole Broyard, the American literary critic. What is a letter? Most simply, it’s a written message from one person to another.
‘To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.’ said Phyllis Theroux, the California based essayist, columnist, teacher and author. Handwritten letters have a charm and warmth of their own that can’t be compared to emails/fax/telephone or any other means of communication. The mere fact that a person has taken so much care as to write a personalized letter can cheer up the receiver. Further, it's easy to get confused when trying to express verbally how you feel. Sitting down and writing a letter in private, however, gives you time to get in touch with your deepest feelings and then decide which words will best express them; hence, Phyllis Theroux’s quote.
Other than love letters, the most famous of all, Rakhi letters also hold great significance. It’s a joy both for the sister, who writes a letter, and the brother, who receives the letter. The single handwritten note adds credence to the entire occasion. ‘What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.’ Liz Carpenter, the famous writer, feminist, former reporter, and media advisor’s quote highlights another aspect of letters – they stay with us forever.
Studies have shown that the act of letter writing produces feelings of companionship.
For those divorced, widowed, or never-married… ‘Letter writing is the only device for combining solitude with good company’ emphasizes Lord Byron, the renowned romantic poet. An icing on the cake, recipient can respond at leisure. Some find letter-writing too consuming; however, it isn’t necessarily so. A letter-pad, pen, envelopes and stamps on table; letters can be made as convenient as fax/email, if not more.
Along with the stationary, certain do’s and don’ts are also a must-know for all letter writers. First and foremost, the reader must be made aware of the date and place from where the letter is being written. Address the reader by name, e.g. Dear Parul; this ensures that the letter is in intended hands. Further, handwriting should be legible. You don’t want to scare your reader.
Let us come to the world’s most famous letters. According to Henry Tilney, noted, well mannered and intelligent priest ‘The talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female.’ However, history doesn’t confirm it. Perhaps what Tilney meant was that these letters have feminine touch to them. Some of the well known letters are
Abigail Adams to John Adams - Dec 23, 1782
Sullivan Ballou - July 14, 1861 (Civil War)
Harriet Beecher Stowe - January 1, 1847
Ludwig von Beethoven - July 6, 1806
Pietro Bembo - October 18, 1503
The most important thing to know about love letters is that the best love letters come from the heart. You might not be able to write a poetic love letter but write a love letter that will be cherished forever.
A letter is the need of a loved one (either a romantic interest, or a brother, or a sister or an old friend) to communicate with you, hence, the great extent to which it is cherished. Love letters, to be specific, are not only effective among new couples, but can also be used to rekindle the romance in an old relationship. The knowledge and proof of the fact that somebody cares so much for us as to take a pen and paper, write a letter and post it in our name, gives great pleasure. I suggest we try giving this pleasure to someone. In all probability, it’ll bring us similar pleasure.
Art Healz
LET ART HEAL
Anjali, a reputed NGO manager and a vivacious socialite, was experiencing high levels of stress. Taking advice from her husband, she sought the services of a counsellor. However, the sessions weren’t helping her much; till she began talking about her love for painting.
“I enjoyed painting, but I wasn’t good at it. Nobody understood what I drew, so I gave it up. Why waste time and money?” she told the counsellor. Educating her about the healing capacities inherent in art, the counsellor helped her resume painting. Within one week, Anjali’s fresh lease of life returned.
Art. The word conjures up images of colourful paintings, sculptures, and dancing figures. Despite the appeal, most of us let go of these images, telling ourselves that the field is only for the talented, or that we are too busy. However, the definition of ‘Art’ has nothing to do with being good at it or being regular. It’s just about being spontaneous. “My emotions are sometimes so strong that I work without knowing it. The strokes come like speech”, said Vincent van Gogh, the well known Dutch painter.
Biological Foundation
The act of making art triggers internal activity that contributes to physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. It leads to production of feel good chemicals in our brain, thus contributing to mental health. Continuous practice of the same helps strengthen our immune system. Simply going to an art museum or looking through art books can also refresh the spirit and promote relaxation.
Research shows that physiological functions, such as heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration slow when people are deeply involved in a creative activity. Hence, the soothing effect. It also provides an opportunity to exercise eyes and hands, improve eye-hand coordination, and stimulate neurological pathways from the brain to the hands.
Psychological Foundation
As said by Magdalena Abakanowicz, a contemporary polish sculptor, “Art does not solve problems but makes us aware of their existence. It opens our eyes to see and our brain to imagine.” Pent-up emotions operate outside our conscious awareness; hence, the best way of releasing them is art. By way of artistic symbols, it’s easier to let oneself go, and open up freely.
Sigmund Freud, Father of Psychology, propounded the concept of unconscious. It’s the part of our mind that stores childhood memories. While most of these are pleasant, negative experiences also form a part of the unconscious. Unless these are expressed appropriately, they begin to hamper our mental well being. One way of releasing them is displacement- venting on undeserving people e.g. scolding kids. Another is sublimation- converting them to socially appreciable pursuits e.g. art. Choice is ours.
Each of us is naturally endowed with at least one artistic capacity. Recognition and pursuit of the same can enrich our lives.
Rhythm is beneficial Our muscles, including the heart muscle, synchronize to the beat of music. For example, some classical music approximates the rhythm of the resting heart (70 beats per minute). This music can slow a heart that is beating too fast.
It can be as simple as someone listening to a CD. Specially selected music can be broadcasted into hospital rooms. A chit-chat revolving around the lyrics of a song can be relaxing. Dance the most fundamental of the arts, involves direct expression through the body. Thus, it is an intimate and powerful medium for self-expression.
Play with words Poetry therapy and bibliotherapy are terms used synonymously to describe the intentional use of poetry and other forms of literature for healing and personal growth. Expressing through the use of words, putting each of them in place, and reading them aloud can be an energizing experience.
Daydream colourfully. To most of us, dreams occur naturally. However, intentional dreaming has additional benefits. Imagery involves mental exercises designed to stimulate the mind and influence the health and well-being of the body. It uses visualization techniques to help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as manage pain, lower blood pressure, and ease some of the side effects of chemotherapy.
There are many different imagery techniques. One popular method is called palming, which involves placing the palms of our hands over our eyes and first imagining a colour we associate with anxiety or stress (such as red), then imagining a colour we associate with relaxation or calmness (such as blue). Visualizing a calming colour leads to relaxation.
Another common imagery technique is known as guided imagery. It involves visualizing a specific image or goal to be achieved and then imagining ourselves achieving that goal. Athletes often use this technique to improve their performance.
Act it out. Drama therapy is an active approach that helps one tell his or her story to solve a problem, achieve a catharsis, extend the depth and breadth of inner experience, understand the meaning of images, and strengthen the ability to observe personal roles while increasing flexibility between roles.
To pick an example from Bollywood, as Akshay Kumar and Amitabh Bachchan exchanged roles of father and son in the movie ‘Waqt’, many pent up thoughts got revealed, eventually leading to strengthening of their bond.
Finally
W.H. Auden, the renowned poet, said, “In the desert of the heart, let the healing fountain start.” We can easily back on our inner sources to give us strength. So, let’s become our own counsellors by taking to art. Coming to the quality of work, no doubt, a superior work has better chances of lifting the person's mood and self-esteem. But, it doesn’t mean that a normal work of art has no benefits. It’s the act of creating that is important, not the final product. After all, what Anjali needed was simply an encouragement to take up painting again. To quote Henry Moore, a British sculptor’s words, “There's no retirement for an artist, it's your way of living so there's no end to it. So gurlz, just pick up that brush, or switch on your music system, and let yourself go…!
Side Bar
Art Therapy – A New Field
Over one hundred years ago, a number of European writers described the spontaneous art done by patients in mental hospitals. This seemingly irrepressible urge to make art out of any available materials confirms the compelling power of artistic expression to reveal inner experience. It was because art making provided a means of expression for those who were often uncommunicative that art therapy came to be developed as one of the helping professions.
Margaret Naumburg is considered its founder. An educator and psychotherapist who started the Walden School in New York City, Naumburg wrote several books on art therapy and its applications with psychiatric patients in the 1940s and 1950s. Her sister Florence Cane modified principles from art education for use with children. At the same time, some conscientious artists were volunteers in mental hospitals. They eventually convinced psychiatrists of the contributions art therapy could make to the treatment of the most difficult patients. Art Therapy can be an individual activity but is often used very successfully in group situations. Child psychologists often use art therapy because children have a hard time putting feelings into words.
At some point in our lives, we might find ourselves overwhelmed by the intensity of our emotions which are difficult to face either by themselves or with others. Art therapy offers an opportunity to explore these intense or painful thoughts and feelings in a supportive environment. It involves using a wide variety of art materials, for example paints, clay and batik, to create a visual representation of thought and feelings.
Anjali, a reputed NGO manager and a vivacious socialite, was experiencing high levels of stress. Taking advice from her husband, she sought the services of a counsellor. However, the sessions weren’t helping her much; till she began talking about her love for painting.
“I enjoyed painting, but I wasn’t good at it. Nobody understood what I drew, so I gave it up. Why waste time and money?” she told the counsellor. Educating her about the healing capacities inherent in art, the counsellor helped her resume painting. Within one week, Anjali’s fresh lease of life returned.
Art. The word conjures up images of colourful paintings, sculptures, and dancing figures. Despite the appeal, most of us let go of these images, telling ourselves that the field is only for the talented, or that we are too busy. However, the definition of ‘Art’ has nothing to do with being good at it or being regular. It’s just about being spontaneous. “My emotions are sometimes so strong that I work without knowing it. The strokes come like speech”, said Vincent van Gogh, the well known Dutch painter.
Biological Foundation
The act of making art triggers internal activity that contributes to physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. It leads to production of feel good chemicals in our brain, thus contributing to mental health. Continuous practice of the same helps strengthen our immune system. Simply going to an art museum or looking through art books can also refresh the spirit and promote relaxation.
Research shows that physiological functions, such as heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration slow when people are deeply involved in a creative activity. Hence, the soothing effect. It also provides an opportunity to exercise eyes and hands, improve eye-hand coordination, and stimulate neurological pathways from the brain to the hands.
Psychological Foundation
As said by Magdalena Abakanowicz, a contemporary polish sculptor, “Art does not solve problems but makes us aware of their existence. It opens our eyes to see and our brain to imagine.” Pent-up emotions operate outside our conscious awareness; hence, the best way of releasing them is art. By way of artistic symbols, it’s easier to let oneself go, and open up freely.
Sigmund Freud, Father of Psychology, propounded the concept of unconscious. It’s the part of our mind that stores childhood memories. While most of these are pleasant, negative experiences also form a part of the unconscious. Unless these are expressed appropriately, they begin to hamper our mental well being. One way of releasing them is displacement- venting on undeserving people e.g. scolding kids. Another is sublimation- converting them to socially appreciable pursuits e.g. art. Choice is ours.
Each of us is naturally endowed with at least one artistic capacity. Recognition and pursuit of the same can enrich our lives.
Rhythm is beneficial Our muscles, including the heart muscle, synchronize to the beat of music. For example, some classical music approximates the rhythm of the resting heart (70 beats per minute). This music can slow a heart that is beating too fast.
It can be as simple as someone listening to a CD. Specially selected music can be broadcasted into hospital rooms. A chit-chat revolving around the lyrics of a song can be relaxing. Dance the most fundamental of the arts, involves direct expression through the body. Thus, it is an intimate and powerful medium for self-expression.
Play with words Poetry therapy and bibliotherapy are terms used synonymously to describe the intentional use of poetry and other forms of literature for healing and personal growth. Expressing through the use of words, putting each of them in place, and reading them aloud can be an energizing experience.
Daydream colourfully. To most of us, dreams occur naturally. However, intentional dreaming has additional benefits. Imagery involves mental exercises designed to stimulate the mind and influence the health and well-being of the body. It uses visualization techniques to help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as manage pain, lower blood pressure, and ease some of the side effects of chemotherapy.
There are many different imagery techniques. One popular method is called palming, which involves placing the palms of our hands over our eyes and first imagining a colour we associate with anxiety or stress (such as red), then imagining a colour we associate with relaxation or calmness (such as blue). Visualizing a calming colour leads to relaxation.
Another common imagery technique is known as guided imagery. It involves visualizing a specific image or goal to be achieved and then imagining ourselves achieving that goal. Athletes often use this technique to improve their performance.
Act it out. Drama therapy is an active approach that helps one tell his or her story to solve a problem, achieve a catharsis, extend the depth and breadth of inner experience, understand the meaning of images, and strengthen the ability to observe personal roles while increasing flexibility between roles.
To pick an example from Bollywood, as Akshay Kumar and Amitabh Bachchan exchanged roles of father and son in the movie ‘Waqt’, many pent up thoughts got revealed, eventually leading to strengthening of their bond.
Finally
W.H. Auden, the renowned poet, said, “In the desert of the heart, let the healing fountain start.” We can easily back on our inner sources to give us strength. So, let’s become our own counsellors by taking to art. Coming to the quality of work, no doubt, a superior work has better chances of lifting the person's mood and self-esteem. But, it doesn’t mean that a normal work of art has no benefits. It’s the act of creating that is important, not the final product. After all, what Anjali needed was simply an encouragement to take up painting again. To quote Henry Moore, a British sculptor’s words, “There's no retirement for an artist, it's your way of living so there's no end to it. So gurlz, just pick up that brush, or switch on your music system, and let yourself go…!
Side Bar
Art Therapy – A New Field
Over one hundred years ago, a number of European writers described the spontaneous art done by patients in mental hospitals. This seemingly irrepressible urge to make art out of any available materials confirms the compelling power of artistic expression to reveal inner experience. It was because art making provided a means of expression for those who were often uncommunicative that art therapy came to be developed as one of the helping professions.
Margaret Naumburg is considered its founder. An educator and psychotherapist who started the Walden School in New York City, Naumburg wrote several books on art therapy and its applications with psychiatric patients in the 1940s and 1950s. Her sister Florence Cane modified principles from art education for use with children. At the same time, some conscientious artists were volunteers in mental hospitals. They eventually convinced psychiatrists of the contributions art therapy could make to the treatment of the most difficult patients. Art Therapy can be an individual activity but is often used very successfully in group situations. Child psychologists often use art therapy because children have a hard time putting feelings into words.
At some point in our lives, we might find ourselves overwhelmed by the intensity of our emotions which are difficult to face either by themselves or with others. Art therapy offers an opportunity to explore these intense or painful thoughts and feelings in a supportive environment. It involves using a wide variety of art materials, for example paints, clay and batik, to create a visual representation of thought and feelings.
Gone with the Wind Review
Gone with the Wind
I read this novel only because it’s a classical. A friend who lent me the book had told me upon my repeated failure(s) to read it, “It’s a classical. Too slow for you, I presume”. True, (I) never could finish the book. But visual media can create hitherto unknown interest(s). I LOVED the movie!
Though slow and stretched, long and repetitive in an identifiable way, Gone With the Wind does justice to its viewers. The protagonist (I forget her name ) is so courageous, notwithstanding her strict upbringing. From being flirtatious to being submissive, every shade of her personality lends interest. It’s perhaps stubbornness that pulls her down. (Must mention ‘Attitude’ here as well: ignorin my own ;) ). Personally I could only empathize with Ashley, and, nothing like admiration developed. His wife, my favourite character is simple, sweet and gentle from every angle; and proves to be a gem throughout the movie. I couldn’t help but feel a sister-in-law like relationship between her and the lead lady. Much to latter’s agony, I am sure;)
Though a six hour watch, once you get the theme and rhythm in the movie, you are hooked. No calling commitments a pre-condition!
I was touched by the relation she shared with her father, and her decision to earn bread for family. I was impressed with the hero’s (If I might call him so?!) persona, and the transparency of (his) thoughts. The locales and atmosphere, given the technology available at that time, is quite good. Women’s dresses HAD to catch my eye for the lack of similar stuff in modern day.
Particular impressions were left on me by the scene where she pulls down the curtains in front of family maid, and gets herself a green dress stitched. This brings forth her determination, but, on the flip side, somehow, led to a series of events highly unfavourable. It was heart warming when she is proposed by the only suitable suitor she has ever had. Despite this, there’s gloom inside her person – understandably so considering the struggles faced by self. Minutely though, the flick also highlights differences unchangeable in people, differences that make existence fun, differences that are omnipotent. It’s encouraging, yet multi-faced. Builds interest, but realism neutralizes the scope of enjoyment.
These thoughts, however, are completely mine; someone else would think completely differently. Cheers! :)
I read this novel only because it’s a classical. A friend who lent me the book had told me upon my repeated failure(s) to read it, “It’s a classical. Too slow for you, I presume”. True, (I) never could finish the book. But visual media can create hitherto unknown interest(s). I LOVED the movie!
Though slow and stretched, long and repetitive in an identifiable way, Gone With the Wind does justice to its viewers. The protagonist (I forget her name ) is so courageous, notwithstanding her strict upbringing. From being flirtatious to being submissive, every shade of her personality lends interest. It’s perhaps stubbornness that pulls her down. (Must mention ‘Attitude’ here as well: ignorin my own ;) ). Personally I could only empathize with Ashley, and, nothing like admiration developed. His wife, my favourite character is simple, sweet and gentle from every angle; and proves to be a gem throughout the movie. I couldn’t help but feel a sister-in-law like relationship between her and the lead lady. Much to latter’s agony, I am sure;)
Though a six hour watch, once you get the theme and rhythm in the movie, you are hooked. No calling commitments a pre-condition!
I was touched by the relation she shared with her father, and her decision to earn bread for family. I was impressed with the hero’s (If I might call him so?!) persona, and the transparency of (his) thoughts. The locales and atmosphere, given the technology available at that time, is quite good. Women’s dresses HAD to catch my eye for the lack of similar stuff in modern day.
Particular impressions were left on me by the scene where she pulls down the curtains in front of family maid, and gets herself a green dress stitched. This brings forth her determination, but, on the flip side, somehow, led to a series of events highly unfavourable. It was heart warming when she is proposed by the only suitable suitor she has ever had. Despite this, there’s gloom inside her person – understandably so considering the struggles faced by self. Minutely though, the flick also highlights differences unchangeable in people, differences that make existence fun, differences that are omnipotent. It’s encouraging, yet multi-faced. Builds interest, but realism neutralizes the scope of enjoyment.
These thoughts, however, are completely mine; someone else would think completely differently. Cheers! :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Vichar...
Plagiarized: No matter who brings you down, and makes your day bad, there’s always the people in your life who make your life feel like heaven
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
And then there was this tale...
Gurgaon, ’04 – April ‘08
Engineering Institue
They were Jake and Radha. They were lovers, best friends and the best of couples. However, circumstances took toll. Despite being in love, they had to drift apart.
“I am never going to leave you”, Jake would enact dramatizing their love.
“My misfortune”, Radha would hit her forehead.
Commitment was the word friends associated with them, and luck is what their parents mentioned. As is often, however, they were oblivious to opinions and destiny. They knew people loved them, and dwelled knowing their romance was blessed, too!
However, as if often the bitter truth of dreams, life knitted another story. One of them left for Canada, making a promise to keep in touch. Radha stayed back; willing to join her father’s business.
Two months flew by notwithstanding the authenticity of their relationship.
“Hi Radha!!!” Read the SMS Jake sent her on 26th of October. It was a Sunday, and she had just dusted her room. Surprised, she texted back that she must postpone talking and/or chatting. She had a ticket booked to make it in time for a friend’s wedding; and needed to hurry. Minutely aware of each other’s habits, there wasn’t any need of explanation or ego satisfaction. “Catch thou later!” her cell beeped. She smiled to herself.
Jake was enjoying the party thrown by Aman, one of the few Indians in his university. Beer was followed by tuna. Music was followed by scrabble. On the other end, Radha had decked up herself, and packing the wedding gift.
Bangalore, 1st November ‘08.
Rita boarded the plane, flushed with excitement and thrilled to be in it. Humblest roots had shown her the value of money. She was supposed to finish her Masters very soon, and return every penny of her parents’ money. Though it was challenging, she knew that determination was success’ keyword. Every second spent in the plane felt like a dream come true. Every passenger looked like an angel.
New York was freezing; wrapping a shawl around herself she called a cab. Few more minutes, and she’d be in her room. Hostel dormitories felt secluded, so she had checked Internet for nearest available lodging, and booked her room from home itself. Now, her new home in NY called!
“Take care, Beta”, her mobile phone had her dad’s voice message. Feeling blessed, she texted her thanks. As the cab turned at avenue 34, lush green trees beckoned. Her heart thumped inside her chest.
They might have never met, were it not initiated by Radha herself. Unknowingly of course! “You must, Jake, you must! Go!” She had urged him. Jake had always been into photography; his clicks showed remarkable potential. An Indian studying in a New York University had offered to pay for shooting scenes in sync with her summer project. He had almost rejected it, eager to take a break and hug his beloved back home. However, his love back home urged him to postpone the break till winter. Feeling torn, yet, deeply touched he adjusted the lens of his camera. “Oh, Radha: I miss you!!!!” Her email would read the next morning. She had to dash, however -- A business meeting was calling.
New York, 1st March ‘09
Jake turned at avenue 34. World’s busiest city wasn’t so bad after all. Bless you, Radha, he smiled to himself. Wed, working, and measly, the first impression he had of his employer for next two months was totally a miss. This twenty something damsel was both courteous and charming. Pleased, he shook hands with Rita. Life rocked.
Vivacious and artistic, Rita seemed to carry another world around her. A world full of fun and frolic! The more Jake got to know Rita, the more upbeat he felt. On the professional front, his photography had already bought favour with other students in the class, and he had both his hands full. His first earnings, coupled with the cups of coffee with Rita washed any doubts he had about cancelling the trip to home-country. However, Aman and Radha’s mails kept him in loop. Latter were few and far in between, though. The rapport built with Rita led him into sharing much with her – Radha included. Her smiling acceptance of everything about him warmed his heart. Good friends are, after all, a rare catch, he’d tell himself. That it could lead him into irreversible events was beyond his wildest imagination. He just happened to wake up early that morning.
Avenue 34, 17th April
Screams pierced his ear drums. Leaves were still moist with dew, and birds’ chirp rang in the air. Seeing Rita weeping maniacally in lawn was the most shocking scene of his life. Colour drained from his face. Sobbing, she hugged him tight. Baffled and confused, he scanned the lawn. No-one was there. Jake was about to stop himself from shaking her when Radha called. Disconnecting his cell, he gently held Rita away from himself and gazed into her kaajal smeared eyes. Deep sorrow confronted him. “Dad passed away last night”, she managed, resting head on his shoulders.
He looked around the room. Strange that he hadn’t visited it all these days, for it was as colourful as Rita. She lay beside him, at total peace. Curtains fluttered over the window. Pulling himself out of the sheets, he returned to his den. He had to return Radha’s call. Thankfully, she was too far to catch any falter in his voice.
She was surrounded by colleagues and immediate professor, but, managed to glimpse at Jake’s direction every other minute. Everyone had gathered to offer their condolence, but it was also to keep their favourite person busy till she made it to India. Amidst the crowd, Rita’s heart and mind were at war. Already grieved to the core, she didn’t know whether to ask Jake to come with her, or wipe the morning from her mind. Worse, the most effective comforter was already ignoring her.
Delhi, 24th June ‘09
It wasn’t easy for her. Radha had always feared aeroplanes. Non-stop 24 hours flight was a nightmare-in-wait. It was a worthwhile purpose though. Her Mr. Right wasn’t well. Firstly, he had disconnected all her calls. Secondly, his parents had spoke of huge amount being withdrawn from his account. “It’s so unlike him”, Radha played with her hair flicks while waiting in the lounge. Perspiration and palpitation began as she boarded plane. By the time she made it to her seat, her limbs had gone numb. Were it not for the gentleman sitting in the adjacent seat who offered her lemon, she would have fainted. “God-sent angel” she thought to herself before sleep overtook her fear.
Two hours thirty five minutes. A pleasant voice woke her up. ‘Vegetarian, Ma’am?’
With much effort, she managed to stay calm for the rest of flight. Her “God sent angel”, it seemed, had changed his seat. Over the mike, pilot’s message that they were about to land was music to Radha’s ears. Mere thought of Jake made her heart pump with love.
New York, as expected, was chilled to the core. University being shut, she carefully read the address slip in her hands. Jake had included it one of his rare emails. It was some avenue leading to a suite nearby. Rita’s neighbour, though much irritated upon being waken up, updated her on events. Disappointment writ large on her face, she checked into the nearest motel.
Somehow a taxi was arranged next morning so she could reach Canada. Aman was her last hope. Thankfully, there was a co-passenger to share the surmounting bill. As the drive began, she peeked out. It was one of the most beautiful neighbourhoods, she had ever seen. As if reading her mind, the co-passenger in front seat spoke up, “It’s beautiful!” Nodding, as she turned towards him, recognition hit. “God sent angel!” her heart screamed. Much to her frustration though, he wasn’t showing any signs of recognition, not overtly at least. Talkative by every angle, Nitesh kept her entertained much of the time. Reaching her destination, she bid him farewell, suddenly feeling empty. Aman’s warm welcome proved to be necessity instead of advantage.
Not that she had expected him to know details, but Aman’s absolute ignorance was a shock. Jake had been unreported for more than two months! Panic, worse than pre-flight, gripped her.
New Delhi, 29th June ‘09
As Jake alighted from the plane, fresh breeze hit his face. Feeling elated upon landing in motherland, he swore to confess to Radha the minute he saw her. Radha, however, was nowhere to be seen. Staring expectantly at every face in the aisle, Jake felt as if his conscience was being snipped. Hadn’t she checked email? Hadn’t she spoken to his parents? Had she already heard on some unknown grapevine? Grappling with these questions, Jake greeted his parents. Too exhausted to inquire immediately, he retired for bed once home. Pigeons woke him up. For a second, he couldn’t place himself. It was the jasmine fragrance that brought home his sensibilities. Overwhelmed, he descended two steps at a time, and reached for the landline. Much to his surprise, his father’s words “Ok, Radha beta”, reached his ears. As he later learnt of her expedition, tears welled up in his eyes.
A week later; when they faced each other at airport, any intention of disclosure that Jake had, disappeared. Radha was thrust into his arms by those around, and her smile was enough to wipe away his guilt.
It was two months later that they tied nuptial knot and moved to Canada.
Philadelphia, 2020
“Baby, be careful; don’t run!” Radha was calling after Sunny, her son. Jake was relaxing on a swing some feet away. They were holidaying for a week, mostly just enjoying the food and/or strolling in the nearby areas. That he had bump into Rita, was completely unexpected. However, he quickly hid himself. Eleven years back, she had given him the gift of love, and requested that he may carry on with his life. To do the least he could, he had financed her trip back home. Howcome she really never called and/or emailed, was beyond his understanding. “She must have great inner strength”, he’d talk to himself.
Today, she was checking into the hotel that he had decided upon for the next week. Bombarded with memories, and suddenly shook by his conscience, he dared to approach her. Radha, after all, was still in the garden. “How are you..., Rita?” She looked the same, including the effervescence so natural to her. “Jake”, indeed, there was a quiver in her voice. Before she could regain her thought process, his cell began to ring. “Come out soon, Jake! Your family is famished!” He was going to their room to get some chips and juice. Gauging the discomfort, Rita hurriedly began to hit her mobile keys. Feeling thankful, Jake slipped off.
“He is cute” Rita was smilingly looking at Sunny.
Radha had struck friendship with her, more for Sunny’s sake than anything else, for he had hit off with Rita’s girl since their first meeting in the lounge. It was their last day in the city, though the five of them had already developed a good bond. Unwilling to let go of the merriment involved, Radha asked about her husband and contact information.
“The latter I’ll just give, but the former” she cast a quick glance towards Jake -- too quick to be noticed, and finished her sentence “left me for himself”. Before Radha could deservedly inquire more, she got up and began fiddling with her cell. Very timely, Radha heard, “Come sweetheart, everything is loaded: We better move!” Picking Sunny up, she quickly waived a bye to Rita, and sent her daughter flying kisses. Dshhhhhh, their car moved over the pebbles... out the hotel...leaving behind a little trail of smoke.
Engineering Institue
They were Jake and Radha. They were lovers, best friends and the best of couples. However, circumstances took toll. Despite being in love, they had to drift apart.
“I am never going to leave you”, Jake would enact dramatizing their love.
“My misfortune”, Radha would hit her forehead.
Commitment was the word friends associated with them, and luck is what their parents mentioned. As is often, however, they were oblivious to opinions and destiny. They knew people loved them, and dwelled knowing their romance was blessed, too!
However, as if often the bitter truth of dreams, life knitted another story. One of them left for Canada, making a promise to keep in touch. Radha stayed back; willing to join her father’s business.
Two months flew by notwithstanding the authenticity of their relationship.
“Hi Radha!!!” Read the SMS Jake sent her on 26th of October. It was a Sunday, and she had just dusted her room. Surprised, she texted back that she must postpone talking and/or chatting. She had a ticket booked to make it in time for a friend’s wedding; and needed to hurry. Minutely aware of each other’s habits, there wasn’t any need of explanation or ego satisfaction. “Catch thou later!” her cell beeped. She smiled to herself.
Jake was enjoying the party thrown by Aman, one of the few Indians in his university. Beer was followed by tuna. Music was followed by scrabble. On the other end, Radha had decked up herself, and packing the wedding gift.
Bangalore, 1st November ‘08.
Rita boarded the plane, flushed with excitement and thrilled to be in it. Humblest roots had shown her the value of money. She was supposed to finish her Masters very soon, and return every penny of her parents’ money. Though it was challenging, she knew that determination was success’ keyword. Every second spent in the plane felt like a dream come true. Every passenger looked like an angel.
New York was freezing; wrapping a shawl around herself she called a cab. Few more minutes, and she’d be in her room. Hostel dormitories felt secluded, so she had checked Internet for nearest available lodging, and booked her room from home itself. Now, her new home in NY called!
“Take care, Beta”, her mobile phone had her dad’s voice message. Feeling blessed, she texted her thanks. As the cab turned at avenue 34, lush green trees beckoned. Her heart thumped inside her chest.
They might have never met, were it not initiated by Radha herself. Unknowingly of course! “You must, Jake, you must! Go!” She had urged him. Jake had always been into photography; his clicks showed remarkable potential. An Indian studying in a New York University had offered to pay for shooting scenes in sync with her summer project. He had almost rejected it, eager to take a break and hug his beloved back home. However, his love back home urged him to postpone the break till winter. Feeling torn, yet, deeply touched he adjusted the lens of his camera. “Oh, Radha: I miss you!!!!” Her email would read the next morning. She had to dash, however -- A business meeting was calling.
New York, 1st March ‘09
Jake turned at avenue 34. World’s busiest city wasn’t so bad after all. Bless you, Radha, he smiled to himself. Wed, working, and measly, the first impression he had of his employer for next two months was totally a miss. This twenty something damsel was both courteous and charming. Pleased, he shook hands with Rita. Life rocked.
Vivacious and artistic, Rita seemed to carry another world around her. A world full of fun and frolic! The more Jake got to know Rita, the more upbeat he felt. On the professional front, his photography had already bought favour with other students in the class, and he had both his hands full. His first earnings, coupled with the cups of coffee with Rita washed any doubts he had about cancelling the trip to home-country. However, Aman and Radha’s mails kept him in loop. Latter were few and far in between, though. The rapport built with Rita led him into sharing much with her – Radha included. Her smiling acceptance of everything about him warmed his heart. Good friends are, after all, a rare catch, he’d tell himself. That it could lead him into irreversible events was beyond his wildest imagination. He just happened to wake up early that morning.
Avenue 34, 17th April
Screams pierced his ear drums. Leaves were still moist with dew, and birds’ chirp rang in the air. Seeing Rita weeping maniacally in lawn was the most shocking scene of his life. Colour drained from his face. Sobbing, she hugged him tight. Baffled and confused, he scanned the lawn. No-one was there. Jake was about to stop himself from shaking her when Radha called. Disconnecting his cell, he gently held Rita away from himself and gazed into her kaajal smeared eyes. Deep sorrow confronted him. “Dad passed away last night”, she managed, resting head on his shoulders.
He looked around the room. Strange that he hadn’t visited it all these days, for it was as colourful as Rita. She lay beside him, at total peace. Curtains fluttered over the window. Pulling himself out of the sheets, he returned to his den. He had to return Radha’s call. Thankfully, she was too far to catch any falter in his voice.
She was surrounded by colleagues and immediate professor, but, managed to glimpse at Jake’s direction every other minute. Everyone had gathered to offer their condolence, but it was also to keep their favourite person busy till she made it to India. Amidst the crowd, Rita’s heart and mind were at war. Already grieved to the core, she didn’t know whether to ask Jake to come with her, or wipe the morning from her mind. Worse, the most effective comforter was already ignoring her.
Delhi, 24th June ‘09
It wasn’t easy for her. Radha had always feared aeroplanes. Non-stop 24 hours flight was a nightmare-in-wait. It was a worthwhile purpose though. Her Mr. Right wasn’t well. Firstly, he had disconnected all her calls. Secondly, his parents had spoke of huge amount being withdrawn from his account. “It’s so unlike him”, Radha played with her hair flicks while waiting in the lounge. Perspiration and palpitation began as she boarded plane. By the time she made it to her seat, her limbs had gone numb. Were it not for the gentleman sitting in the adjacent seat who offered her lemon, she would have fainted. “God-sent angel” she thought to herself before sleep overtook her fear.
Two hours thirty five minutes. A pleasant voice woke her up. ‘Vegetarian, Ma’am?’
With much effort, she managed to stay calm for the rest of flight. Her “God sent angel”, it seemed, had changed his seat. Over the mike, pilot’s message that they were about to land was music to Radha’s ears. Mere thought of Jake made her heart pump with love.
New York, as expected, was chilled to the core. University being shut, she carefully read the address slip in her hands. Jake had included it one of his rare emails. It was some avenue leading to a suite nearby. Rita’s neighbour, though much irritated upon being waken up, updated her on events. Disappointment writ large on her face, she checked into the nearest motel.
Somehow a taxi was arranged next morning so she could reach Canada. Aman was her last hope. Thankfully, there was a co-passenger to share the surmounting bill. As the drive began, she peeked out. It was one of the most beautiful neighbourhoods, she had ever seen. As if reading her mind, the co-passenger in front seat spoke up, “It’s beautiful!” Nodding, as she turned towards him, recognition hit. “God sent angel!” her heart screamed. Much to her frustration though, he wasn’t showing any signs of recognition, not overtly at least. Talkative by every angle, Nitesh kept her entertained much of the time. Reaching her destination, she bid him farewell, suddenly feeling empty. Aman’s warm welcome proved to be necessity instead of advantage.
Not that she had expected him to know details, but Aman’s absolute ignorance was a shock. Jake had been unreported for more than two months! Panic, worse than pre-flight, gripped her.
New Delhi, 29th June ‘09
As Jake alighted from the plane, fresh breeze hit his face. Feeling elated upon landing in motherland, he swore to confess to Radha the minute he saw her. Radha, however, was nowhere to be seen. Staring expectantly at every face in the aisle, Jake felt as if his conscience was being snipped. Hadn’t she checked email? Hadn’t she spoken to his parents? Had she already heard on some unknown grapevine? Grappling with these questions, Jake greeted his parents. Too exhausted to inquire immediately, he retired for bed once home. Pigeons woke him up. For a second, he couldn’t place himself. It was the jasmine fragrance that brought home his sensibilities. Overwhelmed, he descended two steps at a time, and reached for the landline. Much to his surprise, his father’s words “Ok, Radha beta”, reached his ears. As he later learnt of her expedition, tears welled up in his eyes.
A week later; when they faced each other at airport, any intention of disclosure that Jake had, disappeared. Radha was thrust into his arms by those around, and her smile was enough to wipe away his guilt.
It was two months later that they tied nuptial knot and moved to Canada.
Philadelphia, 2020
“Baby, be careful; don’t run!” Radha was calling after Sunny, her son. Jake was relaxing on a swing some feet away. They were holidaying for a week, mostly just enjoying the food and/or strolling in the nearby areas. That he had bump into Rita, was completely unexpected. However, he quickly hid himself. Eleven years back, she had given him the gift of love, and requested that he may carry on with his life. To do the least he could, he had financed her trip back home. Howcome she really never called and/or emailed, was beyond his understanding. “She must have great inner strength”, he’d talk to himself.
Today, she was checking into the hotel that he had decided upon for the next week. Bombarded with memories, and suddenly shook by his conscience, he dared to approach her. Radha, after all, was still in the garden. “How are you..., Rita?” She looked the same, including the effervescence so natural to her. “Jake”, indeed, there was a quiver in her voice. Before she could regain her thought process, his cell began to ring. “Come out soon, Jake! Your family is famished!” He was going to their room to get some chips and juice. Gauging the discomfort, Rita hurriedly began to hit her mobile keys. Feeling thankful, Jake slipped off.
“He is cute” Rita was smilingly looking at Sunny.
Radha had struck friendship with her, more for Sunny’s sake than anything else, for he had hit off with Rita’s girl since their first meeting in the lounge. It was their last day in the city, though the five of them had already developed a good bond. Unwilling to let go of the merriment involved, Radha asked about her husband and contact information.
“The latter I’ll just give, but the former” she cast a quick glance towards Jake -- too quick to be noticed, and finished her sentence “left me for himself”. Before Radha could deservedly inquire more, she got up and began fiddling with her cell. Very timely, Radha heard, “Come sweetheart, everything is loaded: We better move!” Picking Sunny up, she quickly waived a bye to Rita, and sent her daughter flying kisses. Dshhhhhh, their car moved over the pebbles... out the hotel...leaving behind a little trail of smoke.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Dooooooooooooooo~Khi
Ek adhura sapna...
Naamumkin nahin.
Paane ki usey magar ab...
Himmat nahin.
Jaahan chah waahan raah...
Suna to hai.
Chahne ki magar ab...
Kashish nahin.
Raahein khud hi bula lein...
To chal bhi parein:
Waahan pahunchke...
Bas wahin rahein.
Naamumkin nahin.
Paane ki usey magar ab...
Himmat nahin.
Jaahan chah waahan raah...
Suna to hai.
Chahne ki magar ab...
Kashish nahin.
Raahein khud hi bula lein...
To chal bhi parein:
Waahan pahunchke...
Bas wahin rahein.
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